


The Most Remarkable Thing About You

by StagedWhisper



Category: Bandom, Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:41:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27943946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StagedWhisper/pseuds/StagedWhisper
Summary: “Fine. I’ll be your fake boyfriend for Christmas.”Soulmates! Fake Dating! Holidays! Mutual Pining! Mistletoe! There Was Only One Bed!It's basically a Hallmark movie.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 109
Kudos: 189





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta [SmileAndASong! ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong)
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)

Gerard had been avoiding his mother’s phone calls for over a week, and he knew he’d used up his excuses when Mikey, the traitor, answered her call and then handed the phone off to Gerard. 

“Hi Mom,” Gerard will kill Mikey for this. 

“Gerard! Honey. You know I haven’t heard from you in a while when I resort to leaving MTV on hoping to see a new interview to make sure you’re still alive,” Donna chastised. 

“Sorry mom. It’s been busy, the album’s only been out like a month.” 

“No, I know. Perhaps you can avoid my phone calls but you can’t avoid your grandmother’s will forever. Mikey tells me you’re all getting a few days off for Christmas before the tour picks up. Are you bringing anyone home with you?” She asked. 

Gerard sighed, every few months his mother got more and more insufferable about fulfilling Grandma Elena’s will. “I still have time, mom.”

“Not really, Gerard. It's only four months until your 30th birthday and you’ll be on tour for most of that time,” Donna said. “I worry about you, honey.” _And so did your grandma_ \- was left unsaid. 

Gerard pinched the bridge off his nose in frustration, “Yes, I know mom.” For the last three years since his grandmother’s death, Gerard had done his best to put the stipulations around her will to the back of his mind. Gerard had an advantage in that he had plenty of soulmarks which could potentially turn into romance, but being wrapped up in the world of the band and life on the road, it's easier to pretend the deadline wasn’t creeping up with each passing birthday. 

Elena’s last wish for Gerard - to find his soulmate - was the only way she could ensure that her beloved grandson would be taken care of after she was gone. She knew Gerard gave his heart completely to those he loves, but he was such a shy child growing up and she noticed as he got older he struggled with depression which led Gerard to keep his heart closed off. She just wanted to make sure he had someone there to watch out for him when she couldn’t. The will clearly stated that Gerard would inherit his grandmother’s house if, and only if, he married before his 30th birthday. Failure to do so would lead the house to be put up for an estate auction. 

“Now, I know you don’t want help from your mom, but I can call around and try to find someone to invite for Christmas. Do you have any new marks? It’s about time you put yourself out there more and find your soulmate. You need to open your heart to the possibility of finding love.” 

“What if I already “opened myself to love” with someone who’s mark I already have?” Gerard sassed back. Then he immediately smacked his face. _Why did he say that?_ Gerard had a lot of soulmarks - more than most people he knows, that’s for sure - but all of his have been platonic so far, and he’d met most of them. 

“Oh! But the only marks… oh Gerard! Did you and Frank finally work things out? Honey, I’m so happy. I was beginning to think you two would never-,” She cut herself off. 

Gerard heard his mom take a shaky breath, like she’s about to start crying. Alarms started going off in Gerard’s head that sent him into panic mode, “Mom, no, wait -” 

She kept talking, plowing through Gerard’s rebuttal, “This is wonderful, Gerard. Tell Frank we can’t wait to have him over for Christmas. I talked to Linda just a few weeks ago, she didn’t say anything. You shouldn’t keep this from your mothers, you know.” 

Gerard had no idea where his mom got that idea, “Mom, Frank and I-"

“From the start, it's been clear you two were made for each other. You’ve been through so much together, I’m happy you finally took this step. How did the two of you finally… No, no. You’ll have to tell me at Christmas. You’re bringing Frank here or I’ll fly to wherever in the world you are and bring both of you home. You know your father and I love him and we’ll want to hear the whole story.” 

And now his mom sounded so _happy_. Gerard couldn’t bring himself to burst her bubble and set her back on the path of constantly worrying after her eldest. “Okay, Mom.” 

“Good. I’ll let your dad know that Frank’s coming. Love you, honey. Now I need to pester your brother too, pass me off to him, will you?”

“Love you too mom,” Gerard dashed around backstage until he found his little brother at craft services and passed the phone off. Gerard walked back to the dressing room, he didn’t have time to talk to Frank about this before the show, but with only two weeks until Christmas there wasn’t much time to figure things out. 

Gerard rubbed at his chest, right over the scorpion that is Frank’s soulmark and cursed both his loud mouth and his mother’s meddling. He and Frank have never had any sort of romantic relationship, despite their marks being the largest and closest to their hearts that either of them have. Well, there was all the stuff they got up to on stage - the extra touching and kissing - but that stayed on stage. Sure, some would consider it a bit odd to have a platonic soulmark on your heart, but they’re best friends who just get each other better than anyone. 

So, Gerard understood why his mom (and almost everyone else who knew about their marks) thought there’s something more between him and Frank. But the traditional rules around soulmarks have never applied to Gerard, so why would they when it came to Frank’s mark? 

Most people average around ten marks, about the size of a quarter, that typically consist of immediate family, romantic soulmates, and close friends or colleagues. Gerard’s marked with over _thirty_ at current count. Those who are a little more old fashioned often choose to hide their marks, but both Mikey and Gerard had so many, that concealing them wasn’t much of an option. A large number of marks sometimes made for curious onlookers who asked too many questions, so Gerard took to wearing layers and jackets all the time and like for most things, Mikey followed Gerard’s lead. 

When Gerard’s depression got worse, the number of marks he bore felt overwhelming and weighed on him as a failure. He didn’t feel worthy of them, his excessive drinking and substance abuse saw to that. It wasn't until he sobered up that he came to realize the number of marks he had weren't a weight to bear, but rather a foundation for him to climb out of the spiraling darkness in his mind. He now knew why Brian's mark was a neat “X” on the back of his hand, a signifier for Brian's role in talking him through his worst night and helping him get clean. There were still plenty of days where Gerard didn't think he deserved his marks, but he resolved to do what he could to become worthy. 

Gerard threw himself down on a couch in the dressing room, thankful to be alone for a moment while everyone else raided crafty for dinner. He ran a hand through his short bleached hair and rubbed at the back of his neck, over his soulmark for his grandmother - an intricate old fashioned skeleton key with her last name “Rush” in a cursive sprawl on the bow of the key. 

When he was young, his grandmother gave him a pack of comics and a little pickle plush toy and on that day several marks in comic animation style appeared on his skin. The most prominent one was a black umbrella on his right forearm, followed by an outline of the Batman logo on his back. 

He thought about the curled “M” glyph for Virgo right in the center of his chest, he was so young when Mikey was born that he can’t remember what it was like to see his skin without it, and he never wants to find out. And it was when Gerard played Peter Pan in the sixth grade, that they both finally understood the stars on Mikey’s chest meant the _‘second star to the right.’_ In a way, being together in My Chem was their own personal Neverland. 

Sometime during college, over his left shoulder almost to the side of his neck was Ray’s mark appeared, a taino sun. He remembered the warmth he felt radiating from the mark when he met the person who would become another brother to him. It’s only fitting that Gerard’s mark (a waning crescent moon) on Ray was in a mirrored position on Ray’s right shoulder. 

Just a few weeks after 9/11, Gerard woke up one morning, determined to try putting a band together, and several more marks appeared on his body at once. His right ankle turned into a bracelet of several snare drums (one for Matt, one for Bob, but he was still not sure who the others belong to), Brian’s subtle “X”, a Smith and Wesson revolver on his outer thigh for Bert, and several varying others littered his body, Gerard knew he was making the right choice in pursuing music if it would lead to meeting many more of his marked soulmates. 

And lastly, he thought about Frank’s mark. He barely remembered that Halloween, he was only four years old, when he changed into his Luke Skywalker costume there was a new mark next to Mikey’s, near his heart. Years later when he met Frank, the mark on his chest felt warm and itchy, and he knew he’d found his scorpion. 

“Gee? _Gerard._ Ground control to major Tom.”

“Huh? Frankie?” Gerard snapped back to reality, his fingers still lightly scratched at the soulmark on his chest. 

“Hey, there you are, space cadet. You’re brooding. Wanna talk about it?” Frank asked, as he laid his head down in Gerard’s lap. 

Gerard’s first instinct was to say no, but the concerned look on Frank’s face melted his defences, “Thinking about something, I’ll tell you later.” 

Frank didn’t push Gerard further, “Okay.” Frank slid a hand down to his hoodie pocket and produced a protein bar, “here, you didn’t eat yet.” 

Gerard took the protein bar and popped open the wrapper, he thanked Frank by sliding one hand into Frank’s shaggy black hair and ran his fingers through it. Frank hummed in contentment and started talking about the latest embarrassing thing Cortez did. 

**THAT NIGHT** 

“I LOVE BEING IN THIS FUCKING BAND!” Gerard spat into the mic that night as they transitioned between songs. They were in Los Angeles for KROQ’s annual Christmas festival, one of the last shows they’re scheduled to play before a short break for the holidays. The whole band was riding high during the set, the album had been out just long enough that the fans were screaming along to all the lyrics, but it still felt shiny and new. 

Gerard’s bleached hair looked fucking iridescent from the sweat that dripped down his face as he turned toward the drum kit, arm raised in the air as they kicked off into _‘I’m Not Okay,’_ right at that moment that he felt hit with a wave of _something_ as he looked at Frank out of his peripheral vision. Gerard shook and fell to his knees, as the intro of the song consumed him.

Frank sauntered over toward center stage, he somehow sensed when Gerard needed to be re-centered, and got on his knees right next to Gerard’s face. He leaned in and raised an eyebrow, Way-speak for _‘are you okay?’_ and when Gerard shook his head _‘no’_ Frank leaned in with both hands on Gerard’s face to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Frank fell back with his guitar and continued playing on his back, both of them a pile of limbs sprawled on the ground. Gerard managed to get up and push through the song, except now all he was able to think about were soulmates and Frank. 

After the set, Frank towelled off and switched shirts in record time before he sought out Gerard, who had just finished changing out of his stage suit and tie into jeans and a hoodie with the newer black leather jacket he’d been favoring lately. 

Frank walked up next to Gerard and rested his cheek against Gerard’s shoulder, “Good show,” he said. 

Gerard hummed and reached his arm around Frank’s waist to keep him close, “Yeah. I like playing this show every year.” 

“Third time’s a charm and all that,” Frank murmured. Frank didn’t want to flat out tell Gerard he worried him tonight during _‘I’m Not Okay,’_ so he opted for a more roundabout way to check in on his best friend. “Follow me,” Frank tapped Gerard’s hand that was on his waist to indicate for Gerard to follow. 

They pushed their way around the backstage area and ended up on the loading dock next to their van, they’re the first ones out there, ready to go for the ride back to their hotel. Frank pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up, he passed it to Gerard before lighting up his own. 

“Exactly what I needed,” Gerard said, thankful after the first delicious drag. 

Frank tipped his head back to release a cloud of smoke, he turned his gaze to look at Gerard who rocked back and forth on his heels as he smoked. Something warm and protective tugged at Frank’s chest as he observed Gerard’s restless energy, “I’m like - where the fuck have the last few weeks gone? I swear we just dropped the album yesterday. Everything’s happening at once, y’know? Even faster than last time.” 

Gerard nodded, knowingly, “Yeah, it’s been a wild ride. I’m glad to be onstage again though.” 

“Sometimes I still feel a little like we’re stuck in that mansion,” Frank confessed while looking up at their mixed smoke cloud. 

Gerard stopped rocking on his heels and stilled, cigarette in hand halfway to his face, “Residual haunting. I feel like that too sometimes. Stress and fear, you know?” He took a long drag after that, savoring the burn in his chest. The heat of it assured him that he’s alive. 

“Is that what happened earlier?” 

Gerard shook his head, “Something else. Like, it’s not bad, I’m just… trying to figure out a plan.” 

It’s not the answer Frank was fishing for, but it appeased him for now. If there’s anyone Frank trusted the most, it’s Gerard with a plan. It’s led them this far, who is he to question it now? Needing to lighten the mood, Frank eyeballed the golf cart parked next to their van. “C’mon, let’s see if the keys are in that sucker. I wanna do donuts.” 

“Are you even old enough to drive one of those?” Gerard teased, stomping out the butt of his cigarette under his boot. “I’ll drive!!” He ran over to Frank who was already halfway to the golf cart. He tackled Frank from behind and wiggled his way toward the driver’s seat. 

“Ger-aaard! It was my idea!” Frank reached for the keys sitting in the cupholder before Gerard could snatch them. 

They wrestled for the driver’s seat until eventually Frank resorted to lightly biting Gerard’s arm to get out of the way, “Mother _fucker_ ”Gerard laughed, shaking his arm. 

“C’mon, before everyone else gets out here!” Frank’s high pitched giggles echoed off the loading dock walls as they started up the golf cart. A pro driver after having hijacked a cart at every opportunity in nearly every country they’ve ever been to, Frank started wheeling them around in circles, giving in to Gerard’s gleeful demands to go faster and faster. 

“Frank! Not the dumpsters!” 

Frank swerved out of the way, inches to spare, “Nah, I got this!”

“One day we’re gonna ride one of these right onto the stage.”

“Totally. Make Mikey our diversion and we’ll sneak attack.” 

Gerard could picture it, their stage manager screaming at himself and Frank as Mikey runs interference, “Hell, yeah.” 

“And now in reverse!” Frank flipped the gear and placed a hand on the back of the seat behind Gerard’s shoulder and turned to look behind them as he started spinning the cart backwards. 

Gerard’s laughter grew and his impish smile caught Frank’s eye for a second. They’re fucking rockstars for crying out loud, but they get their kicks by taking joy rides backstage when security’s not around to yell at them. Sometimes, Frank preferred wearing memories instead of people as soulmarks on his skin - that’s why he had so many tattoos. He could see a tattoo for this very moment in his mind’s eye - a little spinning wheel inked on him just so that every time he looked at it, he could remember Gerard’s smile and laughter that reverberated through the backstage loading dock. 

**LATER** 

“So Mom said something interesting to me earlier,” Mikey opened, eyebrows cocked at Gerard in question. 

Gerard rubbed a hand over his face to buy a moment before replying, “Yeah?” 

Mikey’s eyebrow just raised further and his face progressed from mild curiosity to _‘I know you fucked up just tell me how.’_

Gerard’s hands fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, “She asked me if I’m bringing anyone home for Christmas.” 

“And?” 

Gerard sighed, “She may have made some assumptions.”

“Like?” 

“Fuck, Mikey. She was on my ass about _‘opening my heart to finding love’_ or some bullshit and I was like _‘well what if I have already?’_ So she just assumed. And I didn’t correct her. I couldn’t,” Gerard explained. 

Mikey had a feeling where this was going, but absolutely lived to see his older brother squirm uncomfortably under his inquisition. Sometimes his job as the younger brother meant giving his older sibling shit as often as humanly possible, and after the rough mental health year he had to date, Mikey deserved some fun, goddammit. _Especially_ if it came at Gerard’s expense. “Who did mom assume _you opened your heart up to love_ for?” he sneered. 

Gerard again ran his hands over his face, hiding from Mikey and his goddamn judgemental eyebrows as he answered, “Frank.” 

Mikey put a hand up over his face to hide his smug smile, he knew things between his brother and Frank had been undefinable up until this point and if there’s a chance he’d get a front row seat to Gerard and Frank finally pulling their heads out of their asses and getting together this Christmas, then sign him the fuck up. “So what are you gonna do? Gonna ask Frank over for Christmas or make mom cry?”

Gerard’s eyes threw daggers in Mikey’s direction at the suggestion of making their mother cry. Between the two of them she had been through more than her fair share of a mother’s worry in the last thirty years. No, he’s going to have to find a way to bring Frank home for Christmas. “Fuck, I’m gonna have to ask Frank to come.” 

“You gonna tell him about the will?” 

Mikey was beginning to sound too much like their mother, Gerard thought. He wanted this conversation to be over before it even began. “What am I supposed to say? - ‘Hey Frank, do you wanna be my fake boyfriend for Christmas so my mom can get off my back about getting married before my next birthday in order to fulfill the fucking archaic conditions in my grandma’s will so I can finally inherit her house?’” 

“Have fun figuring that out,” Mikey laughed. “It’s like less than two weeks until Christmas dude.” _‘And four months until your birthday,’_ his face said. 

Gerard collapsed on his back onto bed and grabbed a pillow to smother his own face as he let out a frustrated groan, “Fuuuuuck.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I promise I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had."  
> Gerard finally talks to Frank, and then there's shopping.

Two days later the band traveled to Chicago to play their last show of the year. Gerard sat hunched over in his seat, elbows on his knees and hood up to hide his recognizable hair as he sipped coffee in the airport lounge while they waited to board. His brain ran endless scenarios about how to ask Frank to be his fake boyfriend for Christmas. Days off to be home in Jersey were rare and he hated to have to drag Frank from his own family during the holidays, but the more he thought about it, the less he wanted to show up to his parent’s house without his best friend in tow. 

Frank sat in the seat across from Gerard and tapped Gerard’s shoe with his own as he took a drink from his own coffee, “what’s with the serious face?” 

Gerard’s head dropped down into his chest, “just thinking about something I need to do even though I don’t wanna,” he answered. 

Frank crossed his legs and leaned forward to get closer to Gerard’s space, “is it the same thing that was bothering you the other night? Wanna talk about it now?” If there’s anything Frank learned in the last year, it's to try to make little conversations happen before they blow up out of proportion and they have to retreat to a room specifically designated for difficult conversations. 

“Not yet,” Gerard said, head still slumped. His hand pushed his hood off to ruffle and tug the short ends of his hair. “Still figuring it out.” 

Frank leaned back as he assessed Gerard, “okay. I’m here if you wanna talk or whatever.” 

Gerard nodded, meeting Frank’s eyes and gave him a half hearted grin before taking another sip of his coffee, “thanks Frankie.” 

Mikey made his way over and sat down next to Frank, he read the situation in just a glance between Gerard and Frank and decided to throw Gerard a bone and give him an opening to the conversation, “looking forward to going home for Christmas, Frank?” 

Frank’s face lit up at the thought of New Jersey, “yeah. I mean, like, fuuuck the snow. But it’ll be good to see everyone and get some real meals for a few days.” 

“Totally. I think we’re supposed to have an Aunt we never see come by so that’ll be cool I guess. Right Gee? Isn’t that what mom said last time she called?” 

To almost anyone else, Mikey’s face was blank, devoid of any sign of mischief, but Gerard’s eyes scrunched in suspicion at his brother. He tried to shut down Mikey’s intervention to the situation by letting it roll off his shoulders, “somethin’ like that.” 

“I think she’s bringing her new boyfriend too,” Mikey added. He taunted his older brother with a raised eyebrow, “apparently it's one of her marks, so it could be serious.” 

Gerard was Not Amused and he needed Mikey to stop talking right the fuck now before Gerard screamed. He wasn’t going to give Mikey an inch toward opening the can of worms currently wiggling in Gerard’s hands, he schooled his face into an indifferent expression, “hmm that’s nice.” 

“We’ll probably need to keep an ear to the ground to see if we need to fly out for a wedding in the spring. You know mom hates that we miss a lot of family functions,” Mikey alluded. 

“Um, I don’t think it’d be a big thing,” Gerard downplayed with a small head shake and a flapped hand to wave it off. 

Gerard noticed Frank lean back, eyes darting back and forth between himself and Mikey. He realized they were being weird, and hoped Frank would write it off as their standard pre-caffeinated bickering. Thankfully, boarding for their flight was called over the PA system and their conversation ended as they shuffled around to grab their bags and go. 

**LATER**

Gerard felt off. He hadn’t felt like this before a show since way back to the first week he performed sober. Both hands death gripped the mic stand where he stood center stage, as he tried to remain focused while soundcheck happened around him. He’d kill to have his gaming laptop right now to play Warcraft for a mind numbing hour, but alas, he’d left it in LA since they would only be in Chicago for just a day. 

Cortez and Frank ran diagnostic on something off on Frank’s pedal board so Gerard took the chance to stare off into space, toward the sound booth setup in the middle of the arena as he held onto the mic stand for dear life. 

His phone conversation with his mother had been eating away at him for the last few days and today he couldn’t even look at Frank without feeling like he was going to have a panic attack. He needed to figure out two things: what he was going to do about Christmas and what he was going to do about his grandmother’s will. Between his mother and Mikey, he wouldn’t be able to hide forever and pretend that time isn’t moving forward. Each day brought Gerard closer to the one deadline he desperately wanted to miss. 

“Gerard,” Ray called from his left. “Gerard?” 

“Hmm?” He snapped out of his thoughts. 

Ray gave him a once-over, “do you wanna run through the first verse of Cancer while we wait for Frank?” 

He gave Ray a thumbs up and shook out of his train of thought, “yeah, yeah. Let’s do it.” He pulled his mic off the stand and turned to face Ray, and pointedly kept his back to everyone else. Gerard was forever thankful for Ray and his reassurance and enthusiasm. Ray learned fairly early on how to read Gerard’s emotions and how to steer Gerard around enough to point him toward either productive or distracting things to burn off his energy. Gerard would walk into hell itself if Ray simply asked him to. 

During the set Gerard only managed to sink further into the funk he’d been in since soundcheck. The show wasn’t bad, but there were cracks in performance, moments where Gerard would retreat to the drum riser and just take a second with his back turned from everyone to try and shake off the oddness he felt. He wasn’t able to play off his bandmates, namely Frank, like usual and he stayed glued to center stage in a self-imposed bubble. 

“You’re having a crisis of confidence,” Mikey stated after the show as he passed a towel toward Gerard’s direction. 

Gerard grabbed the towel with a huff, “the fuck, Mikey? Crisis of confidence? Did you pick that up in therapy?” 

“Yes, I did, but that’s besides the point. Now get out of your head and use your words,” Mikey spoke slowly, as if Gerard were the younger brother. “You’re running out of time.” 

“Yeah, ugh,” Gerard ran the towel over his sweaty face and hid behind it like a security blanket, “yeah, I know.” 

“You were weird the whole set. He definitely knows something’s up,” Mikey continued. “Talk to him.” 

He vaguely registered Mikey mumbling something about ‘one square foot of real estate’ as Mikey turned his attention to finding a clean enough shirt from his bag. Gerard sighed as he shrugged out of his stage suit jacket and into his leather jacket. He’d been practicing the conversation in his head for nearly three days now and Gerard was bursting with worse case doomsday scenarios the more and more he thought about it. He knew he was psyching himself out, but it was just one of things he couldn’t help. 

It’s only Frank, he tried to rationalize. But then he would go down a path of thinking how it could make things awkward between them or make the band dynamics weird. No. He would rather just die right here, right now in this backstage dressing room in Chicago and never have to even think about Christmas again. 

Mikey felt a little sorry watching his brother’s inner turmoil play out across his features, he shoulder-checked Gerard to snap him out of it, “c’mon. Let’s find Worm and go sign for the kids at the barricade.” 

Gerard nodded and followed, grateful for the distraction. 

Later, when they finally got to the hotel, Gerard flopped face-first into the bed closest to the door the second he walked into the room. He assumed Mikey was behind him when the door shut and he heard the shuffling of shoes and a bag on the bed next to him. “You think I could score some hair dye at this hour?” he mumbled into the pillows. 

Frank half smiled and responded, “I dunno, it's kinda late.” 

“Frankie?” Gerard turned around and looked up. 

Frank gave a little wave and a jazz hands ta-da motion. “Hi. Mikey sent me.” 

“Why?” Gerard decided to play dumb, smoothing out his intially surprised expression to an indifferent curiosity. 

Frank sat on the bed opposite Gerard and put his elbows on his knees and chin on his knuckles as he leaned forward, “we’re gonna talk about whatever’s been bothering you the last few days. I think you’ve had enough time to freak out about it by now.” 

Caught with his back against the wall, Gerard realized it was time to ask Frank. His hand subconsciously rubbed over the soulmark on his chest as he sat up to face Frank. “Yeah… okay…” he trailed off, looking down to his lap. He took a breath, “okay,” he said again, firmer. 

“So what’s going on?” Frank asked. 

Gerard sighed and started at the beginning, “so my mom called a few days ago, right? And she was talking about Christmas and she was going on and on about, uh, how I need to find someone to settle down with and be happy with,” he started. 

Frank nodded, to indicate for him to keep talking. “And she was telling me to like ‘be open to finding love,’” he said using finger air quotes. “Or whatever so I could get a new soulmark or she would try to fix me up with someone, and I wanted her to back off so I said, well ‘what if I already found somebody?’” Gerard took a breath, and looked for another one of Frank’s little head nods to continue. “And well, she just assumed that I was talking about you. And then she just kept going on and on. And I couldn’t... I didn’t correct her.” 

Frank stared at him for a moment, eyes squinting as he processed this information, “wait… what the fuck?” 

“She wants me to bring you home for Christmas and tell everyone the story of how we fell in love,” Gerard winced, hands wringing, as he got the last few words out. 

Frank cocked his head to the side in confusion like a small puppy, “But we’re… not in love?” Frank’s voice inflected up, as if to ask and double check what’s actually true. 

Gerard sighed and deployed his standard tactic of rubbing a hand over his face to avoid eye contact, “no, we’d have to pretend we’re… you know,” he confirmed with a flap of his other hand.

Frank nodded, considering, “why did she assume... me?”

Gerard shrugged, “I mean, I guess, uh, because of our marks?” 

Frank thought about it. Growing up as a kid, he’d ask his mom what she thought about the zodiac aries ram that was just over his heart. ‘That’s the person you’ll love the most’ she’d always told him. And when he was twenty and met Gerard, drunk at a house party, he felt the mark radiate warmth and he knew he’d found the person whose mark he carried since birth. 

“It’s not like we don’t kiss and stuff - we do that a lot onstage. This would just be… more? Different. It would just be a little different,” Gerard shrugged as he tried to rationalize it aloud. 

“So what then? Is this another stage?” 

Gerard hoped Frank was getting it, “exactly! Another stage. We put on a show at my mom’s for Christmas and then she stops bugging me about a relationship for a while and then we can go back to normal on our separate ways once we’re back on tour,” Gerard left out the part about his grandmother’s will, deciding that’s another battle he’ll deal with later. 

Frank gave Gerard a narrow look like he’s a puzzle that Frank was trying to figure out, “you know if we’re together at your parent’s house, we’re gonna have to go see my family at some point too.” 

Gerard honestly hadn't thought out the situation that far, he'd been hung up on the ‘how to tell Frank’ part of it all. “Fuck. And our moms talk to each other. Mine probably called yours the second we hung up.” 

“Fuck.” 

“I know,” Gerard’s head dropped down, chastised. 

“So we’re gonna be lying to both of ‘em now?” Frank’s voice edged just on this side of annoyance. 

“I’m sorry. Mom just sounded so happy and I didn’t wanna-” Gerard protested. This is what he was afraid of, making Frank upset. 

“Ger _ard_ ,” Frank stopped him. He gave Gerard a hard look, like he was considering it. 

Gerard reached over to Frank’s hands and tugged them into his own, “I know. _I know._ Please, Frank?” 

Frank’s head dropped and he let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He never learned how to say no to Gerard before and it’s clear he’s not going to start now, “I know,” he echoed. “Fine. I’ll be your fake boyfriend for Christmas.” 

“Yes! I promise I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had,” Gerard smiled wide, beaming. He expected to feel a weight lift off his shoulders, but if anything it felt heavier, weighed down by having to lie his way to happiness. But he continued to give Frank an easy smile and pushed down the uneasiness that remained. 

“I’m counting on it.” Frank rolled his eyes, happy at least to know what had been bothering Gerard for the last few days was now resolved. 

**MEANWHILE**

Mikey rounded up Bob and Ray together and paced back and forth in front of them as they sat side by side on a bed in Ray’s hotel room. 

“What’s going on, dude?” Bob asked, trying to break the tension. 

Mikey realized he was probably freaking them out a little, usually his thinking face paired with pacing meant something was wrong, so he stopped wearing a hole in the carpet to face both of them, “so you know how Gerard’s been weird the last day-ish or so?”

“You mean more than usual? Yeah.” Bob replied. Ray hummed in agreement; they both wondered where this was heading. 

“And you guys know how everyone kind of assumes about Gerard and Frank because of their marks and how they are around each other?” 

“Yeah,” Ray said. “What about it?” 

Mikey’s hand rubbed under his chin as he was thinking, “so mom’s been pushing Gerard for years now to, you know, find someone with his mark and settle down in a relationship. And last time she called one thing led to another and she got the idea that him and Frank finally got together.” 

“We’ve been waiting for them to get their shit together for years. What made her think it finally happened?” Ray asked. He subconsciously mirrored Mikey and scratched at the side of his face in thought. 

Mikey gave an exasperated look and waved his hand, “oh, the usual. Gerard opened his mouth and inserted his foot into it,” Mikey shrugged. “He was trying to shake mom off but instead wound up here.” 

“So… what’s the big deal? Did Frank find out?” Bob asked.

“Mom’s demanding for Gerard to bring his _boyfriend_ home for Christmas,” Mikey answered dramatically. He saw the light bulbs go off on Ray and Bob’s faces as they started to put two and two together. 

“I take it you’re talking to us now because you pushed Frank into your room to talk to Gerard about it?” Ray pieced together. 

Mikey nodded, “I think I know what Gerard’s gonna do. He’s gonna ask Frank to come home with us for Christmas and pretend to be a couple for mom’s sake. But,” he paused, “I think it’s fucking time they actually got together. They just need a little… push.” 

Ray laughed and clapped his hands together, “alright, I’m in. What should we do?” 

“First we should probably get room service,” Bob mused. “We might be here a while.” 

Twenty minutes later the three of them tore into a pizza while discussing a plan of action. They sprawled across the room, Bob in the lounge chair, Ray sitting on his bed, and Mikey finally stopped pacing to spread out on the floor, back resting against the bed. 

“They’re always together already, so how do we set them up?” Bob wondered. 

Mikey knew this would be a little bit of a challenge, “more time together isn’t really gonna make a difference at this point. We need to change how they _think_ about each other.” 

“We have like a half a day off tomorrow once we get back to LA. Should we separate them for Christmas shopping?” Ray suggested. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” Mikey agreed. “And this way we make sure they get each other boyfriend level gifts. Band and crew secret santa is one thing, but like. They’ve gotta open presents together on Christmas morning so we’re talkin’ like, Hallmark channel worthy.” 

“I call Gerard,” Bob immediately raised his hand as if it were the same as calling shotgun. “I’m not dealing with Iero all day.” 

“Actually, that could work,” Ray said. “Mikey, you take Frank and both of you go shopping for Gerard together. Bob and I will go with Gerard. We’ll let him drag us around the weird shops off Melrose or something.” 

**NEXT DAY** 

The band arrived back to Los Angeles by lunch, the time zone change from traveling East to West gave them extra hours in their day. Mikey, Bob, and Ray kept exchanging conspiratorial glances between lobby call early that morning all the way until they hit the tarmac at LAX. The next few days would be busy with a music video shoot, but they had the rest of today day off and the plan hatched the previous night was about to be put into motion. Frank and Gerard were none the wiser, Frank spent the flight with his nose buried in a pulp novel, like always. And Gerard’s usual preflight xanax and benadryl combo knocked him out for some much needed sleep the entire journey. 

After the shuttle drive up from the airport to their hotel up in Burbank, everyone threw down their travel bags and dispersed. They each donned their typical ‘going out in public’ disguises of hats, beanies, hoodies, and sunglasses and went out to enjoy their off afternoon. It was go time for ‘Operation Boyfriends Or Bust’, and Mikey glued himself to Frank’s side to herd him around and he saw Bob and Ray do the same to Gerard. Mikey was glad he had to foresight to loop Brian in on their plans just enough so that when they arrived, a few cabs were already waiting at the hotel to cart them off to their shopping day around town.

Under the guise of needing Frank’s help to find his brother a Christmas gift, Mikey successfully wrangled Frank into tagging along to the Beverly Center. While Gerard’s soulmark on Mikey was stars, the mark on his right bicep of an anchor was Frank’s. It made senses to Mikey how they fit both to each other and in relation to himself. Gerard gave Mikey the stars and Frank kept him grounded to earth. Balance. And on Frank’s ribs was Mikey’s mark, a solid arrow that pointed toward Frank’s heart. Mikey knew this was fate; it was written right there on his skin. 

After raiding GameStop for new Nintendo DS games to take with them on the road, Mikey saw an opening to plant the idea of a boyfriend-gift in Frank’s head, “so. You’re coming to our house for Christmas. That’s… interesting.” He played off, in his standard Mikey Way casual neutral tone. 

Frank rolled his eyes and shrugged, “Yeah, so?” 

“What are you gonna get Gerard for Christmas? Should probably be a step up from a hamster cage this year if you wanna be a convincing fake boyfriend.” 

Frank’s eyes widened, like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, “well, shit.” 

“Exactly,” Mikey nodded. 

“Any ideas?” Frank asked, he tugged at the zipper on his hoodie absentmindedly. “He loved the hamster cage,” he mumbled. 

Mikey’s face broke into a laugh, “How about we start there?” He gestured toward Macy’s. “Gee could use another jacket like he could use a bullet in the head but let’s check it out.” He put a hand on the back of Frank’s shoulder and steered him inside. 

In the years of knowing each other, Frank’s never had to struggle to find something specific to give Gerard. A bottle of booze or pack of cigarettes was all they could afford in the early years, but they were always appreciated and shared. Another running theme was things that Frank thought would make Gerard smile - like the hamster habitat or a new foil packet of Magic the Gathering cards. He never had to really think about the feelings and meaning behind any gifts to Gerard before, and his head spun from it now. Mikey pulled Frank around the store, holding up various items for Frank to consider and veto. And veto. And veto again. 

Michael Bublé’s dulcet tones played over the store’s speakers, pounding in Frank’s head in a mocking loop of cheer and merriment as Frank looked around. He bit at his lip ring and gestured to Mikey to walk out and try a different store. Frank’s eyes darted between the different store marquees they walked past, hoping one of them would say ‘ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS SOLD HERE’ in bright neon lights. He only half listened to Mikey talk about the plot to one of the video games they picked up earlier as they wandered through the aisles. 

He was thankful for the attempt at distraction, but now that the idea of a boyfriend gift had wiggled it’s way into his mind, his brain turned into a loop of obnoxious Christmas songs and Gerard. Should the band have done another Christmas cover? What would Gerard think of that tie? What’s Gerard’s opinion on how the effects of capitalism has changed how we as a society celebrate the holidays? Does Gerard need mittens? 

“Mittens, Frank? Really?” Mikey’s incredulous tone pulled him out of his head. 

Frank groaned, “did I say that out loud?” Mikey nodded with a sympathetic look. 

After psyching himself up, Frank rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. He totally did not twirl the ends on his finger like a lovesick teenager - except he totally did. His eyes closed as he took a breath, no more overthinking. He led Mikey over to another store, determined to walk out with a gift. Mikey picked up on Frank’s resolve and followed along as Frank ushered them around the perimeter of the store, circling around like vultures targeting prey. Not wanting to leave a single stone unturned, Frank stopped at the display of watches in front of him. His eyes skimmed the different styles, looking for one that he could picture on Gerard’s wrist. 

Gerard never liked to say it out loud, lest it ruin his rock ‘n roll basement-dweller cred, but he had developed a fine taste for fashion and style over the last few years. He’d seen Gerard pick up statement pieces - typically jackets - during their travels and he’d wear them like a second skin, sometimes they became part of the persona he developed for the band’s theatricality. 

A fine watch served two functions, Frank thought, one - it showed Gerard’s maturity and sophistication as someone in control of his own destiny and two - Frank was sure Gerard could also come up with a metaphor for how it related to the album’s presentation in some way. Simply, Frank thought it’d suit Gerard well. 

“I got it,” Frank called to Mikey as a smile broke out on his face. He’s got this fake boyfriend thing in the bag. 

**MEANWHILE** 

“Lying to your mothers?” Ray accused lightly, prodding Gerard to talk about his latest grand idea. 

“It’s not lying, is a _ruse._ ” Gerard said, avoiding Ray’s pointed look and continued to thumb through a rack of vinyl records. 

Ray smiled behind Gerard’s back, bemused at Gerard’s oblivious feelings, “oh, excuse me, so you’re putting on a _ruse_ for your mothers?” 

“Ray…” Gerard said. “I just want to get through the holidays and then we’ll be back on tour and everything will be the way it should be. I just don’t want to make my mom upset on Christmas.” 

Ray clasped a hand on Gerard’s shoulder, right over his taino sun soulmark, “yeah, I get it.” He gestured over to a display of jazz albums,and they both began digging through the stacks of dusty records, “but that’s not the whole story is it?” 

Gerard’s entire body stilled, “what?”

“You and Frank?”

Gerard shook his head, forehead scrunched in confusion, “what about me and Frank?” 

“There’s really not anything else going on there?” Ray asked, aiming to land in the middle between nonchalance and curiosity. 

“It’s Frank.” Gerard said simply as his hand flapped in the air as if to signify ‘what else is there to say?’ 

As they walked out of the record store a few minutes later, Bob shook his head at Ray, disappointed, “you went for the soft approach, didn’t you?” 

Ray sighed, “yep.” They let Gerard walk slightly ahead of them down the sidewalk, toward the next vintage shop on the street. By now they were well familiar with Gerard’s shopping habits and hoped that he’d be distracted enough by the odd and shiny things to not notice their intervention. 

Bob ran his hand under his chin, scratching at the stubble on his face as he considered their next move, “alright. I’m going in.” 

He bumped shoulders with Gerard on the way into the next large vintage store to get his attention, “you know how you’re gonna sell this fake relationship to your parents?” Bob said suggestively. 

“Hmm?” Gerard asked with a curious head tilt. 

Bob walked Gerard toward a jewelry display and made a show of waving jazz hands in front of it, “you’ll need a convincing I-love-my-boyfriend gift for him to open on Christmas morning so your mom and ooh and ahh over it.” 

Gerard stared at the display case and nodded pensively, “yeah?” He looked to Bob again for confirmation. When Bob gave him a look of ‘yeah, duh’ Gerard nodded again, this time more confident, “yeah. Good call.” 

Unfortunately, Bob didn't think through the implications of pointing Gerard's attention toward a case full of shiny jewelry and had to stand there and endure Gerard's hyper analysis of every possibility. He shot a look of ‘help!’ toward Ray, and hoped for a swift intervention. 

Ray rolled his eyes and smiled, and helped Bob maneuver Gerard around the shop until eventually, Gerard stopped again of his own volition. Ray saw the lightbulb go off in Gerard’s eyes just before he spoke, “I got it.” His hand reached for a vintage film camera, a Pentax, and clutched it in his hands like an uncovered treasure. In another life, Gerard would have made for an appropriately nerdy archaeologist, but for now Ray was just happy to see his friend get the same excited look on his face that often led to their best ideas. 

Gerard had vaguely caught on to Ray and Bob pushing him around the shop until he found a gift for Frank, but chose to play along. In the last half hour his brain bubbled over while thinking about opening presents on Christmas morning with Frank - drinking coffee from his mother’s tacky novelty mugs while sitting together on the lumpy couch in his parent’s living room. For all the time and adventures they’ve shared together over the last five years, Gerard’s never spent Christmas morning with Frank before, and while Gerard’s usually not much for either nostalgia or the holidays, he’s anxious with anticipation. 

Gerard examined the camera in his hands, he pictured Frank pulling it out at random moments - backstage rehearsals, while exploring cities, or just whenever Frank saw something he thought would be worth capturing. He had heard Frank go on and on before about how much he thinks Gerard is ‘as close to a genius as you can get,’ but secretly, Gerard always thought of Frank as the true artist between the two of them - it was effortless in everything Frank did, from the way he’d wear his heart on his sleeve and then pour it out into every performance on stage. Gerard simply tried the best he could over the years to provide Frank with a runway to just _fly._ And if this little camera could offer up another avenue for Frank’s passion to be on display, then that’s what Gerard wanted to give him. 

**NEXT DAY**

Gerard dragged himself downstairs just in time for their early lobby call, in desperate need of some coffee. Over the next two days they’d be filming the music video for _‘I Don’t Love You,’_ which would be released in the early spring. Gerard cursed Mikey for dragging him out of bed by pulling off the blankets, a dirty low blow that will be met with swift retribution in the very near future. Possibly by stealing his coffee. That’d be a punishment that would fit the crime, Gerard thought. 

Everyone greeted Gerard with a slight double take as he joined the group milling about in the lobby. He subconsciously ran a hand through his hair as he noticed everyone looking at him. For all the things Gerard had done to his appearance over the years, the cropped blonde look was among the most dramatic, and everyone was a little surprised to see it dyed black again. 

Gerard played off the attention by walking right up to his little brother and snatching the to-go coffee cup out of hands. He took a swig and raised an eyebrow at Mikey - a taunt, like he was throwing down a gauntlet. 

“Done being blonde?” Bob said what they were all thinking. 

“For now,” Gerard said with a little shrug. He finished Mikey’s coffee and handed the empty cup back to him. 

“Still a bitch though,” Mikey grumbled. 

“Payback’s a bitch. That-” Gerard poked his brother in the shoulder, “was for waking me up.” 

On the ten minute ride over to the WB studio lot, Gerard noticed Frank go through an alarming number of tissues to keep his sniffling under control. Frank’s shit immune system always liked to show up at the least convenient times, and if Gerard’s didn’t dye his hair consistently, he’d probably find a few gray hairs that grew courtesy of Frank’s poor health that always made him worry like a mother hen. 

After they shuffled out of the van and walked toward their soundstage for the video shoot, Gerard shot Frank a questioning look “You getting sick?” 

“It’s nothing. Yesterday it was like 35 degrees and snowing when we left Chicago and today it’s 70 and sunny in LA. My piece of shit immune system never catches up with us when we’re timezone skipping,” Frank said. He balled up the tissue in his hand and stuffed it in his jacket pocket, making a big show of looking like the picture of health. 

“Let’s find you some orange juice,” Gerard insisted as he tugged Frank off to the corner of the soundstage where a crafty table of drinks and snacks was set up. 

“Yes, mom,” Frank rolled his eyes but allowed himself to be led around. 

“Don’t think I won’t ground you,” Gerard threatened, teasingly. 

Frank laughed until he sneezed, “Bossy.” 

“Though if you're sick though we could probably skip Christmas,” Gerard mused as he examined the juice offerings on the table and began to pour a cup of orange juice for Frank. 

“Nah, I'll just tell your mom you're a shitty boyfriend for letting me get sick on the road and I'll get some homemade soup outta it while she lectures you,” he teased. 

“Excuse you, I am a great boyfriend! I just got you juice!” Gerard huffed and made his bitch face. 

Frank laughed and planted a kiss with a loud smack on Gerard’s cheek in a dramatic fashion, “thanks, honey.” 

The morning started more or less just like any other video shoot they've done before. By now they've got the process down and working with Marc again felt like hanging out with a friend they hadn't seen in a while. They'd each gone through the hair and makeup rounds and Gerard was pleased with how the visuals were shaping up. The last two videos were for their biggest, anthemic songs on the record and those productions matched appropriately, but this next single needed something a little more back to basics. 

The irony was not lost on him that the song he'd lip synch to for hours on end today was about not loving someone, when in a few days he'd be putting on a show for his family about how much he apparently did love someone. God, when did things have to be so complicated? He needed a plan. 

Luckily Gerard didn’t have to wait long, by midday between camera set ups there was time for both of them to slip outside the soundstage for a quick smoke break. Gerard looked up at the Warner Brothers studio water tower as he lit his cigarette, searching for an answer on how to initiate the conversation. 

He scratched at the back of his neck, his hair had been cropped for months now but he still wasn't used to his fingers not having anything to clutch onto. “We need a plan, Frank.” Gerard finally said between drags. 

“You mean the story of our big gay love?” Frank said after blowing a cloud of smoke in Gerard’s direction. 

Gerard inhaled the smoke and took another hit from his own cigarette, the smoke cloud around them looked like a fog machine. “Something like that.” 

“Why not just keep it close to the truth?” Frank shrugged, “maybe one day our stage act just felt a little different? Like we get it, it doesn’t confuse us - we’re still best friends but… more.” 

Gerard nodded, pensively, “we just get it. Yeah, yeah that could work.” 

Frank took a step closer, getting in Gerard’s space, “Dibs on being the one who made it official, though. Everyone knows you can be rather obtuse when it's not music or your nerd shit.” 

Gerard scoffed, “Fff-rank!”

Frank laughed, “it's true! Sometimes you get stuck inside your head. But it's okay, that's why you have me,” he winked.

“I don't know if I should hug you or punch you,” Gerard said, annoyed. 

“Kinky. Buy me dinner first though, okay?” Frank teased.

Gerard groaned and rolled his eyes, “ugh, you’re gonna be like this the whole time, aren’t you?”

Frank threw his head back and laughed, “yep!” 

Relieved that it went easier than expected, Gerard stomped the out cigarette under his shoe and walked back into the soundstage with a glance over his shoulder and a head tilt to Frank to make sure he followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the amazing response so far! What do you think about the gifts they picked for each other? 
> 
> Thanks to my beta! [SmileAndASong ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong)
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Jersey. Tree Decorating. Cuddling. Mistletoe.

Gerard spent the trip to New Jersey jittery despite the xanax he typically took to calm himself on flights, he was envious of both Mikey and Ray who sat in the row in front of him, slumped over and knocked out for most of the journey. More than once Frank - while still keeping his attention on the book he read - placed a hand on Gerard’s bouncing knee, in futile effort to help him settle.

They had their backstory figured out, and a basic schedule for their next few days. They’d hang around with Gerard’s family until Christmas Eve, when they’d then go to see Frank’s mom and let her drag them to church for mass. Christmas morning would start at the Way’s house before going to see Frank’s dad and grandparents along with most of the extended Iero family for an Italian Christmas dinner. Lying about his relationship to his mom was one thing, but Gerard’s stomach twisted for asking Frank to go along with his bullshit in front of his own entire family as well. 

The gears in Gerard’s mind kept whirling, his anxiety spiked thinking about pushing Frank into this whole affair. He wished so badly to be able to sleep on a tour bus tonight, driving far away from Jersey, instead of down in his old basement. 

They parted ways with Ray not even five minutes ago - his brother was waiting at the arrivals gate to pick him up for the short drive to their childhood house in Kearny. And now as Gerard waited for a cab with his own brother and Frank, the sky opened up and it started to rain. Perfect. Just the omen Gerard needed to know how Christmas would go. 

The journey from the airport to the Way house passed in a haze, Gerard only shook from his thoughts when Frank’s gloved hand wrapped around his own, his thumb rubbed over Gerard’s knuckles in a quiet reassurance. When the cab pulled up to their house, Mikey led the way up the driveway to the door and Frank let go of Gerard’s hand to slide out and follow. Gerard snapped out of his daze and grabbed his bag, he sped up the path to catch up to the others, his hand gravitated toward Frank’s once again as he got close enough to reach for it. 

The door opened and Mikey was immediately pulled into their mother’s arms. Her bleached hair was a stark contrast against Mikey’s dyed black hair. “My baby,” she cooed, her hand patted down the back of Mikey’s head. Gerard noticed her whispering something into Mikey’s ear before letting him go so he could get inside the house. 

“Gerard,” she said happily, turning to wrap him into a hug. He hugged her back, it took him a little by surprise how much it hit him right in that moment how much he missed her. No amount of phone calls could measure up to getting a single real hug from his mom - where he can feel her delicate hands on his back and smell her drugstore perfume surrounding him. 

Once his mom pulled away, she immediately turned to Frank, “oh, Frank. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. Her voice sounded even warmer than when she greeted Gerard and Mikey, maybe even borderline emotional. She reached up to cup Frank’s face in both her hands and just looked at him for a second, she smiled at him like he hung the stars in the sky, and then wrapped her arms around him too. Seeing his mom embrace Frank made something in Gerard ache, but not unpleasantly so. It’s not like she’d never hugged him before; she always liked Frank, but this was a whole other level. 

“I just - I’m sorry. I’m probably embarrassing Gerard, but…” she paused, looking like she had to swallow down a lump in her throat. “I just think it’s important that you know, Frank, how grateful we all are that he has you. I haven’t grilled Gerard on all the details yet, so I’m not sure how new this is, but - you should know we consider you part of our family already.” She stopped to wipe a tear out of the corner of her eye with her manicured hand. 

Gerard hadn’t felt so guilty since he first got sober, he was definitely the worst son in the entire world. He also owed Frank so fucking much for putting up with all this. He stole a glance toward Frank’s direction to see if he would notice if Frank had started to freak out. But Frank just reached toward his mother again to hold her as she composed herself. He made eye contact with Frank over his mom’s head, expecting Frank to look sheepish, or guilty, or even panicked - but what he saw in Frank’s eyes was indecipherable. It threw Gerard entirely off-center. In five years as bandmates and closer to six years as friends, Gerard could accurately predict Frank’s reactions to anything about nine out of ten times, but this look was entirely new. 

Mikey sat at the kitchen table with their father, steaming coffee mug already in hand by the time Frank and Gerard got inside, bags abandoned by the door. Donna fussed with a plate of snacks while Don asked Mikey questions about the last few weeks of their tour. Gerard swore, no matter how many times him and Mikey left and came back, their mother’s kitchen would always look and smell the same. He let himself feel comforted by the familiarity of it as the five of them made small talk while sipping from their warm coffee, catching up.

“I think tomorrow I’m gonna need help with the tree. Your father’s back has been bothering him again so I need you young men to do the heavy lifting,” Donna flapped her hand while she talked. 

“Sure, Mom,” Gerard answered for the group, his fingers tapped at the sides of his mug in a restless rhythm. 

“You boys must be exhausted after all that travel,” Donna said. “Why don’t you all go rest and I’ll call you for dinner in a few hours.” 

Mikey stood up with his mug, kissed their mom on the cheek and wandered upstairs toward his room. Gerard nudged Frank’s elbow with his own and they grabbed their bags from the entryway and headed downstairs toward Gerard’s old basement. 

“Oh,” Gerard said as he flicked on the lamp light in the basement, eyes landing on his old full sized bed. “It’s, um, been a while since I’ve been down here.” He stepped out of his shoes but remained planted in the corner of the room. 

Frank walked in past Gerard into the space and sat on the bed as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his larger coat, “I can hear you thinking from over here,” he said. “C’mon,” he bit his lip and patted the empty space next to him, prompting Gerard to sit there. “Neither of us slept on the flight.” 

“Ugh, why is this so weird?” Gerard asked. They've shared sleeping spaces countless times before - in cramped vans, shitty motels, airplanes, they even crashed in the same bunk on their bus fairly consistently. But it wasn't like a _thing_ \- it was just how they adapted to being on tour and getting sleep whenever and however they could. Situational. But this felt oddly... intentional? 

“Because you're letting it be weird. Stop thinking and just go with it,” Frank said. His hand reached to Gerard’s arm as he stepped closer and Gerard allowed Frank to pull him down. 

As they nestled under the covers, Gerard reached over to turn off the light. He felt the bed move as Frank shifted around, curling up into a Frank-sized ball. Gerard tried closing his eyes, but all he could picture was his mom crying on Frank’s shoulder. “Mom’s gonna be really fucking sad when we break up,” he sighed. 

Frank remained quiet for a beat, then turned around to face Gerard, “Yeah,” he said. “She um, she seemed really happy.” 

They don’t acknowledge how much of an understatement that was, but Gerard still felt the need to apologize, “I didn’t mean for that to happen… sorry for dragging you into this.”

“No, Gee,” Frank shushed him. “I’m glad I’m here.” 

“Thanks Frankie.” Gerard closed his eyes and let the weight of the past several days slowly drift away as he willed sleep to overtake him. 

Over dinner, Gerard could feel his father observing him carefully. Don Way wasn’t a man of many words, but someone had to teach Gerard and Mikey how to communicate exclusively by eyebrow raises, and that person was their father. Gerard could sense the question in his father’s eye, _‘you two taking care of each other?’_

Gerard met his dad’s questioning look and nodded, he was in the middle of tearing off a piece of his roll to split with Frank, who accepted the offered bread wordlessly. Not even a few seconds after that, Frank transferred a small mountain of olives from his own plate to Gerard’s. To top it off, neither of them said a word as they did it. Damn, they’re _good_ at this. It’s the exact same kind of natural chemistry and unspoken communication they have on stage - working together, kicking ass, and having a lot of fun along the way. Gerard guessed their subconscious actions were as good as any other explanation he could give. 

“So tell me, boys. When did you two-?” Donna asked, waving her fork between them. 

Gerard and Frank shared a look, and Gerard spoke without breaking their eye contact, “One day it just... it just became more.” Frank gave him a soft smile before he continued, “We were so busy writing the album then playing shows, I’m not sure we even noticed things had changed until we were already in it.” 

“It’s sort of an open secret, you know?” Frank added. “The band and crew know, but we’re keeping it out of the public eye for now, focusing on the music.” Frank said. It’s the kind of perfect, canned response that their publicist would give gold stars for. 

“I’m glad he has you, dear,” Donna directed toward Frank. “But now you’ll have to help me find someone for Mikey,” she winked.

Frank smiled and a soft giggle rang out from his mouth when Mikey’s head ducked down as he tried to disappear into the table, “I’m good for now mom,” Mikey said as his ears turned red. Gerard was thankful for the change of subject, and the rest of the meal passed without incident. 

After dinner, the Ways and Frank gathered in the living room for Christmas movies. Donna compromised with Don to watch Bill Murray’s Scrooged and they snuggled together on the loveseat.

Mikey took one end of the couch, and Gerard sat on the other end, while Frank wedged in between them. The awkwardness that plagued them earlier in the day thankfully dissipated after their nap and they sat close together on the couch with a throw blanket covering both their laps. Gerard’s arm wrapped around Frank’s waist, and pulled him close to his side. 

Gerard recalled fuzzy memories from house parties back when he used to drink - he and Frank would often end up sitting too close together on a couch like this, passing either a handle of vodka or a joint between the two of them. He doesn’t necessarily miss those days, per say, but he does miss when they could be two bodies in a crowded room just hanging out, without anyone trying to read into it. They never let the questions from interviewers or fans get between them, but sometimes Gerard just needed a moment to fucking breathe so he could figure himself out. 

Frank tilted his head toward Gerard’s ear, “hey, okay?” he whispered. 

Gerard resurfaced from his thoughts, “yeah, ‘m good.” He reached for Frank’s hand and squeezed. Frank lowered his head to rest against Gerard’s chest and he tangled his fingers with Gerard’s. Gerard spent most of the movie hyper focused on Frank’s calloused thumb that rubbed back and forth across the back of his hand in a steady rhythm. 

They were both a bit surprised at how tired they still felt even after a nap in the afternoon, and shuffled off to bed following the movie. Sleep had long since become a precious commodity that neither of them take for granted anymore. Once downstairs, a wave of exhaustion hit Gerard and he barely managed to brush his teeth and swap his jeans for a pair of Star Wars pajama pants before he fell into bed, face first into his pillow. 

Frank shook his head fondly at Gerard as he flopped into bed. Traveling always made Frank feel a little less than human, plus dry airplanes loved to shit on his immune system so he reached for his bag and dug for a fresh shirt and boxers before turning toward the bathroom for a hot shower. 

Lack of privacy was one of the biggest drawbacks of their lifestyle, but behind the closed bathroom door he finally had a moment to think about everything that happened since they arrived in Jersey. His hands gripped the counter and as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, “what are you getting yourself into, Iero?” he voiced aloud. 

He sighed, and shed off his clothes and stepped under the warm spray of the water. Would anyone notice if he just hid here until it was time to leave after Christmas? 

He expected a reaction when Mrs. Way saw him, but not - that. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the look Gerard gave him in the doorway while she cried in his arms. What was that? 

And then selfishly, he clung to Gerard all through the movie, and had practically crawled into his lap by the time it ended. Hell, he’d done on-camera interviews sitting in Gerard’s lap before, but usually he played that off for laughs. Frank pressed the heels of his palms against his eyelids and took a few deep breaths, letting the warm water wash away the stress of the situation. Not for the first time since the night in Chicago, Frank wondered if he was in over his head for agreeing to be Gerard’s fake boyfriend. 

When Frank calmed himself down enough to leave the bathroom, he threw his pile of things in an out-of-the-way corner and shut off the lamp on his way toward the bed. He climbed in and turned on his side to face Gerard, “goodnight,” he whispered. His hands itched to reach out and touch, but he folded his arms and tucked them under his head instead. 

“‘Night,” Gerard returned, already half asleep. Frank closed his eyes and tried not to think. 

**NEXT DAY** 

When Gerard woke up the next morning, he felt a koala bear clinging to his back. As awareness slowly dissipated the sleep fog clouding his brain, he realized it was Frank’s tattooed arm slung over his waist, and the breath of his soft snores tickling the back of Gerard's neck. He sunk into Frank’s warmth and wondered at what point in the night they curled up together. His hand reached for Frank’s wrist and scratched it lightly in a clawing motion. 

It was far from the first time Gerard woke up with Frank spooning him, but it hadn’t happened since… well not since before the Paramour, Gerard realized. He felt a hint of guilt shiver down his spine, there had been a period of time during their stay at the mansion where he withdrew from everyone and started to push Frank away and kept him at arm's length. It wasn't intentional, Gerard had pulled away from everyone at that time, including his own brother, right when Mikey needed him the most. He spent too many nights alone, spiraling down into the blackness he thought he needed to live in to make that record. Gerard vowed to never let it get to that point again. 

“Hey.” Frank whispered in his ear, voice scratchy with sleep. 

“‘Hey,” Gerard echoed. 

“I can feel you thinking again,” Frank said and moved his hand from Gerard’s grasp and snaked up under Gerard’s shirt where he began to rub soothing circles into the skin on his hip. “Stop it.” 

“I’m…” Gerard turned around carefully to keep their physical contact and faced Frank, “I'm so sorry,” he whispered. 

“What? Why?” 

“Everything. I know I made this year difficult for everyone... for you,” he closed his eyes, unable to look into Frank’s concerned face any longer. Frank's sad eyes were Gerard's least favorite thing in the entire world. 

“No, I think I get it,” Frank reassured. “It was kind of a perfect storm. But you don't push me away next time, okay?” 

“Okay,” he promised. They stayed together like that little longer, just looking at each other, until eventually they both drifted back to sleep. 

A little over an hour later they woke up again and dragged themselves upstairs for coffee after Frank successfully convinced Gerard to take a shower. They found Mikey hunched over the coffee maker, muttering under his breath about how it was a personal crime against him that it wasn’t done brewing yet. 

“Are you trying to jedi mind trick it?” Gerard laughed, sometimes his brother still looked like the little kid he remembered from their childhood. 

“It’s not working,” Mikey grumbled, staring at the coffee maker as if watching it would make it go faster. 

Gerard laughed again and clamped Mikey’s shoulder, “I’ll show you the ways of the force, young jedi.” 

“Shut up,” Mikey said, his eyes remained glued to the coffee, determined to catch it the second it finished. 

Frank hip checked Gerard out of the way to get closer to the coffee, “Mikey’s totally a sith, Gee. Thought you knew. Because of the boots, you know?” 

“Yeah, I’m totally a sith. With kickass boots,” Mikey agreed and poured Frank’s cup after he filled his own.

“My own flesh and blood betrayed me,” Gerard huffed. 

“Try not to let it bother you,” Frank laughed and sipped from his mug. He noticed a cookie tin by Gerard’s elbow and made grabby hands for it. Gerard slid it across the table and Frank opened it up, except instead of cookies, it was Donna’s sewing kit. “Bullshit,” he crowed. “Why is this a thing? It’s a crime against Christmas, I swear to god.”

It was Gerard’s turn to laugh at Frank, “haha, it's solely to mock you, dude.” Frank stuck his tongue out at Gerard and flipped him off. Frank grabbed for the pack of cigarettes at the table instead and lit one. The three of them settled for cigarettes along with a bowl of fruit for breakfast after the cookie tin’s deception. 

Donna came in from upstairs carrying several bags of Christmas gifts and set them down on the other end of the table, “boys, your dad and I are gonna take these gifts to your aunt’s house. I’m sure the three of you can manage putting up the tree while we’re gone? Everything’s up in the attic.” Donna had this way of making all three of them feel like teenagers again. 

“Yeah, Mom,” Gerard answered. “I’ll supervise,” he threw an orange peel in Mikey’s direction and laughed when it landed in his coffee. 

“Fucker!” Mikey threw it back. 

Donna just smiled fondly, happy to see her sons so carefree together despite the mess it brought to her kitchen, “order pizza if you get hungry! You know your aunt likes to talk my ear off, we might be a while.” 

Not long after breakfast, they were surrounded in the living room by boxes of Christmas decorations. Mikey, being the tallest, held up their artificial green tree while Gerard tried to get the base together. After lots of cursing and death threats over the plastic tree, they failed to make much progress. Gerard was ready to declare ‘bah humbug’ and pack it up. 

“I dunno, still looks a little lopsided to me,” Frank said, his head angled slightly to get a better look at it. 

“If I hit your head hard enough you’ll be seeing lopsided,” Gerard grumbled, annoyed that they had spent more time on the tree base than what was probably acceptable of three grown adults. “I have fucking college degree,” he whined under his breath. 

“Since when did you get an engineering degree I don’t know about?” Frank sassed. 

“Out of the three of us, who actually finished college?” Gerard would flip him off if he didn’t have his hands full. 

“Hey, I went to Rutgers!” Frank defended. 

Mikey rolled his eyes, “maybe so.” 

“Again. Who here actually finished? Oh, yes. That’d be me,” Gerard said. 

“Why are we even arguing about this?” Frank laughed.

“Because we’re supposed to be smarter than this fucking tree!” Gerard threw his hands up in frustration. “Mom will just have to deal. That’s as good as it’s gonna be.” 

Frank grabbed him by the waist with one arm and patted his head with the other, “you’re as good as it’s gonna be,” Frank cooed with a smile. 

Gerard laughed and ducked his face into the crook of Frank’s neck, “that doesn’t even make sense.” What made even less sense to Gerard was how much he wanted Frank to keep holding him. The lines between them were always a little blurry, but in the past twenty four hours, it felt like they were in new territory. Gerard wasn’t sure how much he was pretending with Frank anymore. If he was at all to begin with. 

“Let’s put a record on, yeah?” Gerard stepped out of Frank’s hold before Mikey could call them out on it. 

“No Christmas music,” Mikey said from behind them while he shook out a bundle of string lights. 

“Sold.” Gerard agreed. “Any requests, Frank?”

“Whatever’s good,” he said, and turned his attention toward a box of ornaments. “Are all your decorations from the 80’s?” 

Mikey laughed, “yeah, I guess. Grandma was better at this stuff, it’s been a disaster without her to make it look any good.” 

Gerard smiled and watched Frank and Mikey for a moment as they began to hang up ornaments on the tree, he thanked the universe for having both of them with him now. Mikey had such a rough year, it was so good to see him relaxed at home. And Frank - they live in each other’s pockets out on the road, but it just felt right that Frank was with them now. He turned to their record collection, and feeling nostalgic, pulled out the Pumpkins and dropped the needle on the record player. 

“Aww, look at this one!” Frank apparently found the homemade ornaments, he held up a little Christmas tree made of popsicle sticks. Gerard turned around from the record player and immediately hid his face in his hands, embarrassed. 

“Gerard painted that,” Mikey laughed. “Remember these, Gee?” 

At this point, Gerard needed to keep tally of all the things Mikey said this week that made him want to tear his hair out. “Mom should’ve gotten rid of those ages ago,” Gerard rolled his eyes. 

“No! These are adorable,” Frank insisted, he put the one in his hand near the center of the tree. 

Gerard rolled his eyes and began to hum along to _‘Tonight, Tonight’_ under his breath as it played over the speakers. He looked down into the box where Frank found his childhood creations to see what else was in there. 

Frank pulled out another painted bauble, “I’ve seen this before somewhere... haven’t I?” He asked. 

Gerard looked over, “oh. Um,” he was a little surprised Frank could recognize the pattern so easily. His hand closed around Frank’s wrist that held the ornament, “Mom and Dad’s soulmarks. When they hold hands, that’s the pattern they make. A quatrefoil,” he explained. “It’s, uh, our family mark. Mikey and I have it too.” 

“Oh,” Frank’s eyes met Gerard’s. “It's beautiful.” 

When they finally finished with the tree, Frank looked at it up and down, proud of their decorating, in all its slightly lopsided glory. There were a couple of ornaments, the ones hand painted by a young Gerard, that Frank wanted to squirrel away to keep for himself. 

Gerard returned a minute later from grabbing snacks out of the kitchen and Frank noticed a familiar looking tin in his hand, “I swear to God, if that’s another sewing kit instead of cookies, you’re banished to the floor without a pillow or blanket,” he threatened. 

“Relax Frankie, I got the goods.” Gerard giggled as he cracked open the lid and showed the cookies inside, “see?”

“Hell. Yes. You retain couch privileges,” he took a cookie with a smile. He took a bite, looked up at Gerard and winked. The slight blush that flushed on Gerard’s cheeks didn’t go unnoticed. 

Mikey flicked on the television and channel surfed until he landed on an old 1960’s episode of Doctor Who, Gerard and Mikey started discussing (Frank would call it bickering) classic ‘Who villains. He tuned it out for a minute while he munched on another cookie. 

“No, dude. Daleks are fucking creepy. It's their dead-inside robot voice.” 

“They’re so lame, Mikes! C’mon. Like Cybermen are at least mildly more creepy, y’know? With their blank robot faces,” Gerard argued, his hands mimed a helmet going over his head. 

Frank used the distraction of the brother’s conversation to launch himself at Mikey and landed in his lap. He jabbed at Mikey’s sides, yelling “EXTERMINATE” in his best robotic tone. They continued wrestling around, fighting for control of the remote while Gerard laughed from the other couch. 

“That is officially enough black and white nerd sci-fi for both of you. It’s Christmas for fuck’s sake. We’re watching Die Hard,” Frank wrangled the remote and flipped the channel. 

Gerard got up to fetch their DVD copy and popped it in. Before he sat back down, Frank had placed a throw pillow in his lap and Gerard took that as an invitation to lay his head there when he sat back down. Frank's hand grabbed at the afgan draped on the back of the couch and he wrapped both of them in it the best he could. 

“Can you believe this is Alan Rickman’s first really big movie?” Frank asked, as he adjusted to having Gerard’s head in his lap. His hand lightly swept at Gerard’s hairline, his fingers missed the old longer hairstyle, he secretly hoped Gerard would let it grow out again. Under the blanket his other hand wiggled its way under the hem of Gerard’s shirt until his fingers found their usual spot at his hip. He felt Gerard arch slightly, catlike, under his touch and let out a soft content sigh as the movie started. If he spent most of one of his favorite movies looking, down at Gerard in his lap instead of up at the tv - well, that was between him and God. 

**LATER**

After dinner, Gerard and Frank were put on cleanup duty while Donna and Don set up a folding table along with coffee and snacks in the living room and Mikey fetched puzzle boxes from a closet somewhere upstairs. Gerard hated their annual pre-Christmas puzzle night tradition, but hopefully with Frank around it wouldn’t be so boring this time. 

Somehow, in the back and forth trips between the kitchen and living room, an opportunity for a Kodak moment between Frank and Gerard presented itself to Donna. “Mistletoe!” she exclaimed, her eyes lit up with delight as she pointed at them then up to the plant that hung in the doorway. 

Gerard looked up, and indeed, a cluster of berries and leafy greens hung right there in the hallway between the kitchen and living room. Fuck. Mikey will never be able to have children after Gerard’s done with him later, he vowed. All eyes were on him and Frank, while they stared up at the mistletoe in disbelief. 

Gerard turned to Frank, eyes apologetic. All their previous kisses occurred under the adrenaline of performance, the rush of music pulsating in their bones as they played to hordes of screaming kids. There’s an intimacy in the thick of a crowd and flashing stage lights that was completely stripped away here in the hallway with only Gerard’s family around. 

“Kiss! Oh, I wish I had the camera handy,” Donna said. 

Gerard took a step toward Frank, who had been staring at him with his wide, doe eyes the entire time. Fuck, since when did Frank’s eyes look so big and warm? He put one hand under Frank’s jaw and the other at his waist to pull his body closer. Frank’s arms went around Gerard’s neck and his eyes slid shut as the remaining space between them disappeared. 

“Frank…” Gerard whispered as their lips tentatively met. He was completely unprepared for the cold metal from the lip ring, he shivered at the contact then pushed with more pressure until Frank’s lips parted with a soft hitch of breath. He felt Frank’s hand tug lightly at the ends of the hair on the back of his neck and he mirrored the action by moving the hand on Frank’s jaw up to the curled ends on the back of his head. 

The kiss ended just as it began, with a soft press. They lingered for a beat, breathing each other’s air and Gerard opened his eyes first, searching Frank’s face for any hint as to what he was feeling. When Frank slowly blinked up, their eyes met and Gerard thought his hazel eyes looked more like a deep honey, raw and sweet. He wanted to drown in them. 

“Get a room,” Mikey called from behind Frank, sounding more amused than anything. 

“Maybe we will,” Gerard finally broke his attention from Frank and looked over his shoulder to Mikey, his hands returned down to his side despite how much he ached to continue touching. 

Everyone else migrated to the living room to start on puzzles, while Frank and Gerard remained rooted in place. Gerard looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know where to start. Frank knew the feeling. “Not bad,” Frank finally said, quietly. “Usually it's a lot sweatier.” 

Tension eased, Gerard was at last able to take a real breath. “True… sorry they kind of trapped us, though.” 

“It was just one of those things… I’m used to audiences.”

Gerard let out a hollow laugh, the rulebook to their friendship fell out the window somewhere between the LA and Newark airports and Gerard wanted to hold and kiss Frank without anyone around to see or pass judgement. So he did exactly that, catching Frank by surprise with a chaste peck, then dashed away in retreat toward the kitchen, before Frank could even process what happened. 

The family settled down after the mistletoe spectacle and sat around the makeshift table set up in the living room with a ridiculous 1,000 piece puzzle that Don insisted they could finish ‘in two to three hours’ between the five of them. 

“If I ever become a puzzle dad, you have my permission to ship me off to a retirement home,” Mikey said to Gerard and Frank. That earned a light smack on the back of his head from their father. 

“I don’t care if you’re a rockstar. In this house we do puzzles on Christmas,” Don laid down the law.

Gerard sat next to Frank and half-listened to their dad retelling a story about how he used to celebrate Christmas growing up. His mind drifted. Thankfully his hands kept busy with the pile puzzle pieces shoved in front of him, he made quiet work of matching colors, building an edge of dark blues. Not for the first time, he wished for his hair to be long again so he could hide behind it. He tried to focus on matching the literal pieces under his hands, but he could only think about how well he and Frank slotted together when they kissed. 

How had he managed to get himself into this situation? He couldn’t recall ever being caught off guard by mistletoe before, in the past he'd been too drunk and handsy to ever let it be a big thing. When he first asked Frank to come spend the holidays here in his childhood home, he hoped to fly under the radar for a couple of days until they went back out on the road, without making a big deal of anything. Now after a few days of endless touching, and then that shattering kiss, every hour in this house together brought monumental change between them. The ground beneath Gerard's feet shifted too quickly for him to make sense of what was happening. 

All he knew at this point, was that his feelings were changing and Frank deserved to know. His grandmother’s will aside, he found himself wanting to pursue whatever this new thing was. 

Frank woke up in the middle of the night, annoyed at his own body for not letting himself get an uninterrupted night’s sleep. Bundled in bed he felt warmth from Gerard’s limbs tangled with his own under the blankets, but nature called, and the sooner he got up to take care of business the sooner he could go back to sleeping in Gerard’s arms, so he carefully slid out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. As he pried himself from Gerard’s arms he tried not to think too hard about how things between them had begun to change since landing in Jersey. Frank knew he wasn’t acting with Gerard, the kiss they shared earlier felt _right_ to him, but Gerard retreated into his mind so often, Frank had no idea what was real or an act on Gerard’s end. 

Frank’s head swirled with possibilities, as he exited the bathroom he couldn’t climb back into bed just yet, he needed another minute to think. He turned to the stairs and quietly headed up to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. 

The overhead sink light was on when Frank reached the kitchen, and he saw Don, in a cardigan and sweats, sipping a steaming mug at the kitchen table. “Couldn’t sleep either?” Frank asked. 

“Haven’t slept a full night since the boys were born. Side effects of getting old, I guess,” Don said with a wink. Frank noticed there was still some hot water in the kettle, and poured himself a mug, grabbed a tea bag from a drawer, and joined Don at the table. 

“You look like you have something on your mind,” Don said, leaving room for Frank to either answer or shrug it off. 

Frank realized that in all the years of hanging around this house, this was the first time he’d been able to talk one on one with Mr. Way. He figured he shouldn’t let the opportunity go to waste, his hands cupped the mug for warmth as he started to speak, “It’s nothing bad, I swear. Just… sometimes I wish I could read his mind.” 

Don nodded, knowingly, “Gerard has always hidden himself - I’m sure you’re familiar. He hides behind his art and his music.” 

Frank hummed in agreement, “I know. It’s so frustrating sometimes.” 

“Be patient with him, that’s all I ask,” Don requested. “Gerard always means to do the right thing, but he can get in his own way.” Oh, that’s an understatement, Frank thought. He recalled dozens of late night conversations with Gerard about how he wanted to make the world a better place with the art they created. But Gerard’s constant companions - doubt and addiction - cast a long shadow and loved to interfere. If Frank could shield Gerard from his demons, he would. 

“I’ll try,” Frank said at last. “Thank you.” 

Don got up and placed his mug in the sink, “I should be the one thanking you. Donna and I will always worry, that’s a parent’s job. But it's a little easier when we know you're there for him, in a way no one else can.” He pat Frank on the shoulder and turned toward the stairs to head back up. “Try to get some sleep, son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So how about about that mistletoe scene? Let me know what you think about their first few days at home in New Jersey! 
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Eve! Frank and Gerard learn there's a light that shines in the darkness.

Gerard woke up on Christmas Eve with his arms full of Frank’s warm, soft body half on top of him, head tucked just under his chin. All the hesitant touches from the past several days were only the beginning - he wanted to stay in this cocoon of blankets and Frank for forever. Struck with a need to see Frank’s eyes, Gerard ran his hand up and down Frank’s arm slowly, hoping to coax him awake. 

After only a few moments, he watched Frank’s eyelashes slowly flutter open, “Frank…” he whispered as Frank opened his eyes. Gerard drew in a shuddering breath when Frank lifted his head up and their eyes met. Frank just looked at him, expression open and warm. 

He felt a lightness in his chest and before he could even register what he was doing, he propped himself up on one elbow and leaned up to get closer. Frank’s eyes were right there, they’ve been right there for years - and this morning they’re more green, like the color of Christmas. Gerard felt all the hope, vulnerability, and affection in Frank’s eyes, and hoped he showed Frank the same things right back, because for the first time in months it felt like they’re both fully on the same page together. 

Gerard’s eyes slipped shut as he felt Frank’s breath on his nose and finally they kissed, slow and steady, without an audience to steal the moment away. He heard Frank make a small noise in his throat, before tilting his head to give Gerard a better angle. Gerard nibbled at Frank’s lower lip, drawing out a little mewling noise that was a symphony to his ears. The hand Gerard had on Frank’s arm moved up to the back of his head to hold Frank closer. Days of pure pent up _need_ to be closer to one another passed between their lips. 

He felt Frank wiggle in his hold, breaking the kiss, and was about to make a noise of protest, until Frank shifted to straddle his hips to make their morning erections rub together. Frank bracketed his arms on either side of Gerard’s head and dipped his head back down and captured the low groans that escaped out of his mouth. His hips shifted up and returned the pressure while his hands moved to grip Frank’s biceps for leverage. Their kiss turned into an exchange of gasps, Gerard swallowed down all of Frank’s airy pants. 

Eventually, Gerard’s hands slid from Frank’s arms, down his side, to the hem of his shirt and lifted it up. Frank leaned back, sitting up. The both groaned as Frank’s shifting weight put more friction between their cocks. He lifted the shirt over his head and it landed somewhere to the side; his head tilted back and his jaw dropped, obscene. 

“Fuck,” Gerard moaned. He took the opportunity of a distracted Frank to flip them over, pressing Frank hard into the mattress. He grinded down to hear more beautiful noises pour out from Frank’s mouth. Their lips connected again in short, heated kisses between gasps as they rubbed against each other. Gerard kissed the side of Frank’s mouth down to his neck, kissing and biting at the tattoos and soulmarks down to Frank’s collarbone while Frank’s hands grasped at Gerard’s shoulders, hanging on for the ride. 

Gerard vaguely heard a ringing sound and tried to ignore it, wanting to continue sucking at Frank’s collarbone. But as the ringing grew louder and he heard Frank groan, annoyed above him. 

“My phone -” Frank started. 

“Ignore it,” Gerard let his teeth drag against Frank’s skin to draw back his attention. The phone stopped ringing, it was quiet in the basement for a beat save for their heavy breathing, until it started ringing again. 

“Ugh.”

Gerard felt a hand push at his shoulder, until he shifted up enough to let Frank wiggle over and grab the phone off the nightstand. Gerard thrust his hips down again in effort to keep Frank’s attention on him. 

“Fuck, Gee-” he whined. “Oh, shit, it’s mom.”

“Call her back,” Gerard refused to let up when they were both so close. 

Too late. Frank flipped the phone open and answered. Gerard dropped his head down on Frank’s chest and his finger traced lines around the sides of Frank’s ribs. “Yeah, Mom... Okay… That sounds good... You too, bye.” After far too long for Gerard’s liking, Frank hung up and tossed the phone near the pillow. 

“You dick,” Frank complained. Gerard smirked despite Frank moving out from under him, so they laid side by side. Gerard only felt a little bad - he had, after all, been rudely ignored while so turned on he was close to seeing stars. 

“What, you don’t wanna?” Gerard teased, his hand went to Frank’s bare hip and squeezed. He was willing to play dirty.

Frank nearly growled, his mouth dropped open as Gerard’s hand pressed down against the outline of his cock. “Fuck,” he panted. He looked positively sinful, Gerard pressed harder and rubbed his hand up and down Frank’s crotch. 

“Can I?” He asked, fingers tracing the waistband of Frank’s sweatpants. Frank could only nod as his head fell back at the sensation. Gerard shifted again, pressing Frank flat on his back while Gerard straddled Frank’s thigh. The moan Frank let out when Gerard finally wrapped his hand around Frank’s cock and started pumping, rang out through the basement, loud and gorgeous. He wanted to make Frank _sing._

“Amazing, Frankie,” Gerard let go for a moment to lick his hand before wrapping around Frank again. He pumped slowly, teasing with a slight twist at the head. Frank writhed under him, eyes screwed shut and mouth open, panting. Gerard leaned over to kiss the moans out of his throat. 

“Faster,” Frank gasped, he leaked all over Gerard’s hand. Gerard’s hand picked up the pace and his thumb brushed over the slit, rubbing in a circular motion. “Fuck - Gee-” Frank’s moans grew louder, and Gerard swallowed them up with short kisses. 

“‘C’mon,” Gerard encouraged. Frank’s hand flew to Gerard’s wrist and squeezed, then tried to reach for Gerard’s crotch but was too far gone to really put in an effort to reach. “It’s okay. I got you. Come on, Frank.”

“Oh, _fuck!_ ” Frank thrust up, his whole body shuddered as he came all over Gerard’s hand and his own stomach. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted as he thrashed around. Gerard would never be able to look at him play guitar on stage again without comparing it to how he looked as he came, it was a sight to behold. 

Gerard kissed the side of Frank’s mouth, down his jaw and to his neck whispering little praises as Frank laid there, panting as he tried to come down back to earth. He was still terribly hard though, and rocked against Frank’s thigh for some friction. Frank finally came back around to awareness and scooted up a little to reach Gerard better. His tattooed hands reached into the waistband on Gerard’s boxers and pushed them down as much as he could, freeing Gerard’s cock. 

It was Gerard’s turn to breath heavily, his eyes blinked heavily as he thrust against Frank’s hand and thigh. “So good... ah,” he moaned. “Frank-” he bit his lip to keep from crying out. He could feel every callous in Frank’s fingertips as they dragged, up and down his cock. His hips kept thrusting in little circles, seeking out Frank’s touch. “Oh, _shit_ ,” Gerard moaned. He was so, so deliciously close. 

“Look at me,” Frank whispered. Gerard sagged against him enough that their foreheads were nearly touching. He opened his eyes and his eyes met Frank’s. God, he’d never seen this look on Frank’s face before. His pupils were blown wide, and held a look of lust mixed with adoration. Gerard would give anything to make sure Frank always looked at him like this. With a loud moan, he finally came into Frank’s hand, cum mixing together on Frank’s stomach. 

Gerard shifted off Frank’s thigh and laid next to him on his side, still shaking and oversensitive. With his clean hand, he brushed the sweaty, matted hair from Frank’s face and kissed him. He felt Frank reach around him until he grabbed the discarded t-shirt. Frank made quick work of wiping their mess, before tossing the shirt to the floor and scooting closer to Gerard. They held each other as they both calmed down from their highs, Gerard reached for Frank’s hand and their fingers interlocked together. 

“So what did your mom say?” Gerard asked after a few minutes of silence. 

Frank let out a snort, “way to kill the mood, dude.” Gerard just gave him a shit-eating grin. “She said come by around 4.” 

“What time is it?” 

Frank’s free hand swam around in the blankets, looking for wherever his phone landed. “Almost ten,” he read from the tiny glowing screen. 

“Can we go a little early?” Gerard whispered, not meeting Frank’s eye. “I- I wanna stop by and um, and see grandma.”

“Oh, baby,” Frank’s eyes softened and he kissed the corner of Gerard’s mouth. “Of course we can.” 

They had a few lazy hours to kill before they needed to get dressed for their visit with Frank’s mom, so they lounged around the living room playing video games on the Xbox and eventually Mikey wandered down to join them. Mikey and Frank were in the middle of a game when Gerard set down his sketchpad and squeezed Frank’s arm lightly as he got up from the couch to put on another pot of coffee. 

Donna was in the kitchen sitting at the table with a cup of tea and her embroidery when Gerard walked in, and she had a look in her eye that he couldn’t quite read. “Mom?” 

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” She said, putting her craft down. She got up from the table and stood in front of Gerard. 

Gerard’s expression went into panic mode, he backed up until he hit the kitchen countertop. 

“Nothing’s the matter,” she patted her son’s cheek. “I don’t know why you always automatically assume the worst when I want to speak with you.”

“Because it usually is,” Gerard said with an eye roll, his defensive stance relaxed, shoulders slumping down. 

“I just want what’s best for you, Gerard. I want you to know how happy I am for you. I never thought I’d see the day, but I think the time is right for you to have this,” Donna reached into the pocket of her cardigan and pulled out a small velvet box. 

“I know it's been harder for you to come home since Grandma’s been gone, but having you boys all here for Christmas just feels like she’s also here with us,” she opened the box to reveal a ring, which Gerard recognized instantly as his grandfather’s wedding ring. “Mom hoped that one day you’d give this to Frank. She gave this to me to hold onto until you were ready.” 

Gerard stared at the ring his mother placed in his hands, dumbfounded. “Mom-” He looked up at her, her face glistened with unshed tears. 

“I know you were just playing along for my sake when you got here, but things have finally changed, haven’t they?”

Gerard’s eyes widened in alarm, “no, Mom we-” 

Donna put her hand up, silencing him, “it’s okay, I understand why you did what you did. And I _may_ have had your brother help poke you along.” Gerard raised an eyebrow at his mom, but bit his tongue. He would have words with Mikey later about his scheming. 

“We waited twenty years to find out whose mark you carried on your heart, and when we met Frank, I just knew he was going to someone so special to you. To all of us,” Donna finished. 

“He is,” Gerard agreed. He looked at the ring, a future he hadn’t dared to imagine for himself before swooped in and rearranged all the dreams in his head. Marriage - could this be possible? Would Frank want this too? 

Gerard looked at his mom again, and wrapped both arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks mom,” he whispered to her. He had a lot to think about, but maybe it wasn’t at all as complicated as it seemed before. 

“Merry Christmas, son.” she said, as a tear escaped her eye. 

**LATER**

All the easy smiles and kisses from their morning trailed off as Gerard drove them toward the cemetery. They stopped at a gas station around the corner to pick up flowers, Elena loved Christmas and Gerard mentioned hating the thought of her not having anything festive around. Frank thought about his own grandparents, and how he dreaded the day that he would be in Gerard’s position, only able to visit their graves whenever the tour brought them back to Jersey. 

When they reached the cemetery, Frank could feel Gerard’s hesitation. “C’mon, she’ll be glad to see you,” he took Gerard’s arm by the elbow and led them down the rows of headstones. Frank shivered, but he wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or from being in this place. Gerard remained silent as they walked and Frank noticed Gerard’s other hand had a steel grip on the Christmas wreath they picked up. His already pale skin lost all remaining color as they got closer. It broke Frank’s heart. 

Frank let go of Gerard’s arm when they reached Elena and gave an encouraging look, and nudged him to take the last few steps forward.

“Um, sorry I haven’t, uh, been by in a while,” he heard Gerard say. “So much has happened.” Frank watched Gerard lay the wreath down against the headstone and brush off some of the snow with his gloved hand. Gerard stayed crouched down, touching the top of his head against the granite stone. To Frank he looked like a lost child, just aching for a hug from his grandmother. 

Frank was reminded of the day of the funeral. They had just gotten back from tour the night she passed, the world can be so cruel sometimes, and it seemed to Frank that Gerard got way more than his fair share. He and Ray had to shepherd the brothers around that day, until they all finally went down to the basement after to get wasted. Looking back, Frank could pinpoint that night as a tipping point for Gerard’s spiral toward rock bottom. He hoped that wherever Elena was now, she knew Gerard was just working through his demons the best way he could. 

When Gerard finally stood up again, he reached an arm back behind him with an open hand, inviting Frank to come take it. Frank stepped closer to stand directly behind Gerard, he hooked his chin over Gerard’s shoulder and took the offered hand and wrapped both arms around Gerard from behind. He felt Gerard lean back into his grasp and their heads tilted toward each other. 

They stayed like that for just a few more minutes, looking down together at Elena’s headstone. For as much as their band deals in darkness and death in their work, it doesn’t quite add up to moments like this when they’re thrown into an ocean of loss. 

“Grandma,” Gerard’s voice cracked. “You remember Frank? He’s... he’s my everything.” 

Frank’s arms tightened around Gerard, awed by the declaration. They _still_ hadn’t talked about what was changing between them yet, but this felt like a step towards putting a name to it, by making a statement in front of Grandma Elena’s grave. “I’ll take care of him for you,” Frank vowed to her. He tilted his head to kiss Gerard’s cheek, a seal to the promise. 

They stayed for just another moment, until Gerard said, “okay,” and turned. Frank let go of Gerard and instead reached to hold hands, and they walked together side by side out of the cemetery. Once they reached the car, Gerard stopped. He felt Gerard step closer, before squeezing their joined hands and pressed his mouth to Frank’s lips. He understood the gratitude Gerard placed in the kiss and returned it, hoping to give Gerard something solid to fall back on. 

It was Frank’s turn for the pre-mom visit jitters. His fingers drummed against his thigh as Gerard turned the car down the street to his childhood home. Frank hadn’t explained much of what was going on to his mom besides telling her he was sorry to not spend more time with her this break, because the Ways wanted Gerard’s _boyfriend_ to come visit. 

“Oh Frank!” Linda opened the door and wrapped Frank into a crushing hug, her strength always surprised him. 

He kissed her cheek, “hi mom.” 

She turned to Gerard and stretched to her tiptoes to reach up and wrap him into a hug, “I’m glad you’re both here,” she said. Frank reached for Gerard’s hand again once she let him go, and followed her inside. 

“You’re just in time to help me chop vegetables,” she called, heading toward the kitchen as Frank took their coats and hung them up next to the door. 

Frank settled in instantly, having helped his mother with cooking all through his childhood. He turned from the fridge with handfuls of celery and cabbage and nearly laughed at how awkward Gerard looked in the kitchen, unsure of what to do. 

“Come, come Gerard,” his mother waved over to the opposite counter. “I’m gonna show you how to make panettone bread.” 

“My grandma used to make it, I never learned how,” he said, curious. 

“Pray she never finds out in heaven that I’m gonna show you the shortcut method. Traditionally in Italy, it can be a three day process. _Nobody_ has time for that,” she poked Gerard in the shoulder with the top end of her mixing spatula and set him to work. 

Frank was silent on the other end of the counter as he did the chopping, just watching the two of them. He always spent his free time over at Gerard’s house, it was new to watch his mom and Gerard interact in this way. It amazed Frank that for all that they’ve done together around the world, the past few days had been a universe of new experiences. And maybe he got a bit distracted - nearly chopping off his strumming thumb - when Gerard rolled up his shirt sleeves. Just maybe. 

After leaving the soup to simmer and the bread to rise, the three of them departed for Christmas Eve mass. Linda’s social circle mostly consisted of the other ladies who volunteered frequently with the church, so she loaded up both him and Gerard with gift bags of baked goods she had prepared to give out to her friends. The two of them managed to get through a swarm of middle aged women cooing after them and pinching their cheeks and before finally finding an open pew to settle into. 

The one thing Frank liked about old New Jersey churches was their grandeur. Even the smaller ones like this were built with long archways and stained glass that stretched from floor to ceiling. Frank remembered growing up, he would zone out during service by staring at the swirling colors that glowed on the walls from the painted glass. It seemed fitting that he’d end up falling in love with an artist. 

Oh. _Oh._

He was falling in love with Gerard. Huh. Okay then - that explained a few things. Frank tried to keep a neutral face, not wanting to give himself away. He had to focus on something else. Anything else. 

He tried to redirect his trail of thought by recalling the last time he went to church. Last time he set foot in one had to have been for their music video shoot a while back, and for an actual service, probably Elena’s funeral. There was a feeling of old familiarity in these walls, he attended this church for years but hadn’t been back since the My Chem van became his permanent address. 

He looked at Gerard sitting on his right, his face heated up thinking about how last year Gerard went through a phase of wearing a clerical collar on stage. He was even currently wearing a similar black collared shirt. Frank swallowed, not thinking about his feelings for Gerard right now would be a lot more difficult than he hoped. 

Frank hoped muscle memory would kick in to get through the service. Stand up, sing, sit down, kneel, pretend to pray, sit again and pretend to listen - it was all robotic to him. After their stop earlier at the cemetery, though, he was feeling a little more receptive than usual to the meditative repetition of the process. 

Although his musical aptitude came from his father’s family, Frank did love hearing his mother sing in church. She was strong in her beliefs and that made her voice sound like glistening crystals. By hearing her sing on his left, and Gerard on his right, Frank thought that being in church right now may not be so bad after all. 

When they sat back down, the back of Gerard’s knuckles brushed against his own, and he turned his hand, palm up, to let Gerard hold. Frank focused on the feeling of Gerard’s hand, still not used to it even as often as they touched, now that all their shyness around each other finally washed away in the past day. He only half-paid attention to the reading of the gospel from John 1 until he heard a line that struck him, “What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” He heard nothing else the entire service, instead just focused on thinking how Gerard was his light. 

When they returned to the house, the smell of the soup wafted through the air. Linda fussed over the crockpot and asked Frank and Gerard to set the table. Frank waited all afternoon for his mom to start asking them questions, and he took a deep breath as they took their seats, ready to see how this would play out. After his realization at church, Frank worried he had more questions than answers, himself. 

“Will you stop looking like I’m about to start the inquisition here, your face will get stuck like that,” Linda chided her son as they dug into the meal. 

Frank’s eyes bugged out in surprise and lowered his face down, tucking his chin in. He heard Gerard’s uncomfortable fake laugh beside him. “Can you blame me?” 

Linda shook her head, “I guess it is a little fair.” She set her spoon down, “I just want to make sure you’re happy. And know if I can expect grand babies anytime soon.”

“MOM!” He was totally surprised by this, she hadn’t brought up the idea of wanting grandchildren beyond a distant hypothetical before. This was… this was unexpected. He still didn’t even know where he and Gerard stood with each other, let alone a future that could possibly include kids one day. 

“So that’s a no on taking a break to settle down?” She had a smirk that told Frank she knew the answer anyway but just wanted to give him a hard time. 

“The band’s keeping us busy. I think we’re on tour through next Christmas,” Frank said. 

“I think we’re figuring things out as we go along,” Gerard said, more to Frank than Linda. “We’ve been so wrapped up in the band that we didn’t even realize what we felt about each other.” Frank reached under the table to squeeze Gerard’s thigh, he could always figure out how to say what Frank was thinking. 

Linda made a sympathetic noise and said to Gerard, “I was afraid you were a little lost when the two of you met, but I see you’re stronger now, especially together.” Her eyes got a little misty and Frank’s anxiety began to spike at the sight, but then she smiled and the butterflies in his stomach quelled. “I trust you to keep looking after Frank out there on the road, and you let me know if he doesn’t do the same for you and I’ll remind him of his manners.” 

Gerard blushed and nodded, grateful for her approval, “I will.” 

After dinner, they moved to the living room to exchange gifts. Linda pulled out a Santa hat and placed it on Frank’s head, despite the grumbly look on his face she just gave him a stern look until he accepted. 

“You need to teach me how to do that,” Gerard laughed as he observed the exchange. 

Linda laughed and waved her hand off, “Oh, it’s all about not giving in to his puppy dog look.” 

“Hey!” Frank protested, but Gerard and Linda both gave him the same look until he pouted. “No fair.” 

“Here, this will make you feel better,” Linda laughed, handing her son a brightly colored gift bag. 

Frank’s face lit up as he tore into the bag. He pulled out a hand knitted black and red striped blanket, “this is perfect for tour, thanks mom.”

Gerard handed over a bag to Frank who passed it to his mom, “from us,” he said. 

She opened the gift bag to find a silk scarf that Frank had found at a hole in the wall shop during the last time they were in Venice, along with a pair of matching earrings. “Oh, it’s lovely,” she gushed, hugging both of them in turn. 

Linda then handed a box to Gerard, in which he found a book. He opened it up and saw it was a photo album of Frank’s childhood pictures, he smiled, “thank you!” He angled it for Frank to see as he flipped through it. 

Frank groaned, his hands covered his face in embarrassment, “Mom, no!” 

Gerard and Linda shared more laughs at Frank’s expense as Gerard leafed through the pages, seeing the progression of Frank’s childhood. She even had the crumpled up paper of the first song he wrote when he was only eleven years old. 

“This is amazing, really, thank you,” Gerard’s smile was warm and bright. 

“You’re welcome, dear. Now I’m glad to have a partner in embarrassing my son. You send me new photos from your travels and I’ll make you another album, deal?” 

“Deal,” Gerard winked. 

A timer dinged from the kitchen, “my panettone!” Linda rushed over to pull the bread from the oven. “Frank - put on some coffee, will you?” she yelled from the kitchen. 

**LATER** 

After returning to the basement from their visit with Frank’s mom, they took turns in the bathroom and stripped out of their jeans and collared shirts down to their boxers. The past several days felt a little domestic to Gerard, even though it’s more or less their routine every day on tour, just in his basement instead of the usual bus or hotel room. But still, something warm bloomed in Gerard’s chest at seeing Frank fit into the space he lived in for twenty-five years - like Frank was always meant to be there. 

Gerard sat up on the bed, back against the headboard, and waited for Frank to join him. When Frank emerged from the bathroom, they slotted together on the bed easily, propped up by pillows. Frank leaned into Gerard’s side and tilted his head to rest against Gerard’s shoulder. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it,” Frank recited from memory, his fingers traced Gerard’s forearm, drawing lines around every soulmark and freckle, making Gerard shiver at the touch. “I’ve been running away from the church since high school, but sometimes I can’t help but try to think about what God wants with us,” Frank said. 

Gerard _‘hmm’d’_ and kissed Frank’s cheek. He brought his hand up to cup Frank’s jaw and replied, “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.” He kissed Frank’s lips softly, “that’s us, Frankie. Together we’re light.” 

“How are you so sure?”

“I believe in faith,” he started. “I struggled to, for a long time, but I do. We’ve been marked for each other since the day you were born, if that’s our fate, then I have to have faith in that.” 

“I think… I think what I believe in is us - you. The band. And all our kids,” Frank said. 

“Baby…” he kissed Frank deeply, with intent. He sought out Frank’s tongue, just trying to get as close as possible to him. He shifted around without breaking their kiss, pressing Frank’s back against the headboard while he straddled Frank’s lap. 

Finally, when they both gasped for air, Frank asked, “What do you want?”

“I just -” Gerard cut himself off to kiss and lick along Frank’s neck down to his collarbone. 

“Hey,” Frank said and tugged at Gerard’s black hair until he looked up. “Tell me.” 

“I just want to touch you,” Gerard said, he swept a hand down Frank’s bare chest, the light press of his fingertips made Frank shiver under his touch. “That’s all.” 

“So touch me,” Frank whispered. And it was all the consent Gerard needed to run his hands all over Frank’s chest and stomach, his mouth continued to lick at his collarbone and then down, stopping to trace over each tattoo and soulmark. His skin was a cacophony of imagery both determined by fate and inked by choice, Frank gasped when Gerard stopped at his soulmark over Frank’s heart and kissed it reverently. 

“Beautiful,” Gerard murmured between kisses. He’d never done a full inventory of Frank’s soulmarks before, but just from what he could see on Frank’s skin now, he had a fairly good idea of who most of them belonged to - Gerard noted that they might share more souls between each other then either of them share with anyone else.

Gerard shifted down, lowering his head and sucked on Frank’s hip, leaving a little bruise right above the swallow that represented him. It was one thing to be marked on Frank’s skin by fate, but this deliberate tattoo with the bar across the eyes set Gerard on fire. 

Frank’s little sighs and moans only encouraged Gerard to keep going, he had one hand on Gerard’s shoulder, squeezing, and the other thrown behind his head, palm pressed flat against the headboard. Gerard’s hands ran down the sides of Frank’s ribs, holding firm to keep him from thrusting up. He grabbed the waistband of Frank’s boxers and pulled them off, before settling down between Franks legs. 

“Ohh,” Frank whimpered as Gerard’s hands gripped each thigh. 

Gerard licked down the trail of Frank’s hips and finally, as Frank continued to whine and moan, traced his tongue down to the base of Frank’s cock. Frank was perfect against his mouth, so responsive and delicious. He kept his hands firm on Frank’s thighs, squeezing firm to keep Frank still. Both of Frank’s hands flew to Gerard’s hair as he took the tip into his mouth. Gerard thought before he knew everything about Frank, but now he intimately knew the musky smell and taste of Frank’s arousal, felt the heat of it on his own skin, and the sound of Frank’s pleasure was the best thing he ever heard. 

“Fuck, oh fuck. Shit,” a litany of curses flew out of Frank’s mouth, which only encouraged Gerard to keep going. His mouth was so full, licking and sucking noisily as Frank leaked. 

Gerard popped off and moved one hand to stroke Frank, “Fuck, baby.” His eyes watched Frank’s reactions for a moment, awed by every quiver of his lips and every twitch of his thighs. 

Frank’s hand pushed his head back down, “Gee… _oh_ ,” he cried. Gerard’s tongue swirled around the head of Frank’s cock before bobbing down on it again, taking Frank as deep as he could. “Yes, ah…” 

Gerard never wanted this to end, but he wanted to taste Frank’s cum even more. His head bobbed faster, cheeks hollowing and throat relaxed as he tried to get Frank to come. He licked a thick vein and Frank’s hips stuttered, flying up out of Gerard’s grasp. 

“Ah, gonna-” Frank came down Gerard’s throat, hips snapping forward and head tilted back, mouth open. 

Frank immediately flipped them over, and tore down Gerard’s boxers and reached for his cock. Gerard gasped loudly, surprised at Frank’s ferocity after cumming so hard - he hadn’t even finished swallowing it all down in his mouth yet. But Frank fucked like he played guitar - with boundless passion and energy. 

Frank kissed him as his hand pumped, smearing precome all up and down Gerard’s cock. All Gerard could do was close his eyes and grip Frank’s face, like he’d fade away if Gerard didn’t hold him tight enough, while his hips moved in circles seeking more friction. 

“I’ve got you,” Frank kissed a trail down Gerard’s neck. Gerard felt the scrap of teeth against the scorpion on his chest and he chanted Frank’s name, voice breathy and desperate as Frank sucked the mark. 

“Frank, Fraaank, ohh,” Gerard’s head rolled back and forth across the pillow, overwhelmed. 

Finally, Frank’s mouth reached Gerard’s cock and he licked the tip as his hand continued to pump, fingertips dragging against the slick skin. Gerard felt the swirl of tongue along with the cold kiss of the lip ring and lost his rhythm for a moment. 

He forced his eyes open and shakily propped up on an elbow, needing to watch Frank. His other hand reached out and rested on the back of Frank’s head, he tried not to thrust up too hard, he just wanted the feeling of his fingers in Frank’s silky hair. God, he was perfect. 

“Oh, fuck… _shit_ …” 

After a few moments Frank looked up, his mouth full of cock, the heat in Frank’s eyes made Gerard tip his head back and come. He shivered as Frank swallowed him down, taking every last drop down his throat. The sight of Frank’s mouth popping off his cock in a perfectly round “O” caused Gerard’s brain to short circuit for a second. 

Both of them were still breathing hard when Frank crawled up the bed, Gerard pulled Frank’s face to his for a deep, languid kiss. They exchanged a few more slow and soft kisses as their heartbeats calmed down, synching together like they often do when they perform. Frank pulled the blanket up over both of them and slung his arm over Gerard’s waist. Eventually, Gerard reached over to click off the lamp and in the dark they scooted closer together, facing each other, foreheads nearly touching. 

“I love you,” Gerard whispered, sleepily. He faintly heard Frank say it back before he drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert - It's about the italicized _"oh."_ \- meme here. 
> 
> So they're making progress! What do you think will happen on Christmas day? 
> 
> Thank you to my beta [SmileAndASong ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong)
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Christmas morning at the Way's house!

Gerard woke up slowly on Christmas morning in a similar position as the previous day, with Frank on his chest, face tucked into the crook of his neck where he could feel Frank’s soft snores on his skin. He wouldn’t mind one bit if this became a daily recurrence. The events of the previous day ran through his head as his arms held Frank tighter, hands splayed across Frank’s back. Gerard had been nervous about seeing Frank’s mom, but with how well their visit ended up going, he felt a nudge of encouragement for tonight when he’ll face the much larger and louder Iero extended family. 

For the first time since starting the band, Gerard didn’t want to go back on tour. He wanted to stay down here in the basement with Frank for forever because here he could love -. Love. He remembered saying ‘I love you’ the previous night, and he was certain he heard Frank say it back. Gerard thought over not just the last few days, but the last few _years._ He had always loved Frank, and had said so often enough (usually while drunk) before. But now he was aware he was deeply _in_ love with him. Romantic, soulmate, wake-up-to-your-morning-breath and let’s-grow-old-together kind of love.

Before he could fixate over the clarity of all the things that he (and hopefully Frank) wanted, he felt the pressure of Frank’s lips connecting to his neck. Frank kissed a trail up to Gerard’s jaw before he lifted his head up and their eyes met. Their conversation from the previous night about faith and light reverberated in Gerard’s head as they looked at each other. 

“Merry Christmas,” Frank’s scratchy morning voice greeted, face hovering just inches away. 

It still wasn’t close enough for Gerard, he moved one hand up to run its way through Frank’s hair, so Gerard could reach in for a kiss, angling even closer until they were chest to chest, soulmarks pressed up together. When the kiss naturally paused for a breath, Gerard whispered back an airy, “Merry Christmas.” 

Frank smiled until a light brush of Gerard’s tongue swiped against Frank’s lips once again, their tongues tangled, slick and wet in a dance of give-and-take. After letting the kiss remain slow and exploratory for a few moments, Frank pushed against Gerard’s chest as leverage to pull himself up and wrapped his legs around Gerard’s waist, bringing their cocks together. Frank rolled his hips upward, forcing a strangled _‘ahh’_ out of Gerard’s mouth from the pressure, and the kiss became more urgent as their breathing labored. They kissed the whines and moans out of each other’s throats as they moved together. 

Gerard leaned away slightly, gasping for air, the sight of Frank with red lips and fucked up hair made another rush of heat and desire flow through him. It was almost perfect, but he wanted a better angle to be closer. He pulled up on Frank’s shoulders, clutching for stability as he inched up the bed to sit up, back resting against the headboard. Finally in position, Gerard kept his hands around Frank’s neck and thrust his hips up, making Frank’s mouth fall open with a loud moan as their cocks pressed tighter against each other.

“God, Frank…” Gerard moaned. Their foreheads met, resting up against each other, eyes shut as they both were overwhelmed by the sensation. “Oh shit,” he felt Frank’s hand wrap around their cocks, squeezing them together and rubbing precum all over both of them. 

Gerard’s hips snapped up even harder after the added friction, “so good baby…” he praised. One of the hands he had wrapped around Frank’s neck moved to squeeze Frank’s bicep, encouraging him to keep his hand on their dicks. Gerard pulled Frank’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucked, matching the same pressure that Frank’s hand had wrapped around them below. He felt Frank’s tongue brush up where he nibbled, and lightly scraped up against it. 

Their kiss broke when Frank’s head tipped back, he bit at his own bruised lip to keep the loud groans down in his throat. His right hand jacked them faster, adding to the pressure of their matching thrusts while his left hand dug deep into Gerard’s hipbone. “Gee, oh -” he moaned. 

“That’s it - yes,” Gerard sighed, he could feel himself getting so close, he felt torn between prolonging it or getting off as soon as possible. Frank swayed his center of gravity forward, head now cradled on Gerard’s shoulder. The loud noises of pleasure spewing from Frank were muffled by the crook of Gerard’s neck as both their movements became more and more erratic. 

They both were so, so close, teetering on the edge of bliss. Unable to keep going for much longer, Gerard brought his hand around Frank’s and together with just a few more tugs Gerard started cumming, body tense as he fell over the edge. Frank followed him seconds later with a silent cry, mouthing open kisses to Gerard’s neck. Frank never looked more gorgeous than when he orgasmed, his face open and unguarded with pleasure. He always wore his feelings on his sleeve, and Gerard's pride sang for being the one to make Frank look like this. 

“Frank,” Gerard breathed heavily, “Frank,” he repeated slowly, “kiss me.” Gerard nudged Frank’s head up from its place on his shoulder to catch Frank’s lips for a kiss. It was sloppy but passionate, Gerard poured everything they had and hadn’t said to each other into it, as if the words they exchanged before falling asleep the night before unlocked another layer that they could both physically feel. 

They kissed until the blood pumping in their bodies calmed and the mess between them started to feel uncomfortable. “Ugh, we’re gross.” Frank whined. 

“Pretty sure our van was worse,” Gerard laughed, pleased with the huff and annoyed eye roll Frank lobbed in his direction. 

“Don’t move,” Frank said as he reluctantly crawled off Gerard’s lap and disappeared into the bathroom. Gerard rested his head against the headboard, he closed his eyes and just listened to the sounds of Frank rummaging around - the flick of the light switch, the creak of the linen closet, and then the sink running. It wasn’t long before Frank returned and tossed a damp, lukewarm washcloth on Gerard’s stomach. 

More or less cleaned off, Frank moved to slide back into the bed, until Gerard jumped at the contact. “No! Now you’re cold!” Gerard nearly squealed. 

“What? I was two seconds,” Frank wiggled around, pressing his toes against Gerard’s calves. 

“We’re in the _basement_ and it’s _cold._ You’re fucking freezing - total turn off.” He shoved Frank off the bed with a command to go warm up in the shower and put on socks. 

“Your face is a turn off,” Frank stuck his tongue out playfully and kept laughing all the way back to the bathroom and closed the door with a click. 

Gerard wiggled back under the covers and sighed. With Frank out of the room, he finally had a moment to start overanalyzing the previous day and their morning so far. He needed a sounding board to reassure him... he needed Ray. 

Luckily they remembered to plug their phones in the night before, Gerard reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. He flipped it open and clicked through to dial Ray’s number, hoping he wasn’t already too busy with Christmas morning family stuff. 

“Merry Christmas!” Ray answered. 

Gerard breathed a sigh of relief that Ray picked up, “Merry Christmas, dude.” 

“How’s Frank?”

“What?” Gerard sputtered. “I mean. I-” he signed. “That’s actually why I called.”

“What’s up?”’ Ray sounded concerned. 

“So um… a _lot_ has happened,” Gerard started. “I… I don’t even know where to begin.” 

“It’s been like three days, what’s changed?” Ray teased. 

“Everything, apparently. Umm… I don’t think… I don’t think either of us is pretending. I don’t know if we ever were.” 

Ray chuckled, “I don’t think you two could ever pretend with one another. Have you talked about it?” 

“Last night, um.” Gerard swallowed a lump in his throat, “Last night… when we fell asleep I said ‘I love you’ and I’m fairly certain I heard him say it back. I was kinda blindsided by all this - what if I’m reading it wrong?” 

“Gerard, we’ve _all_ been waiting for you to get together for forever. Back when you asked Frank to be in the band I could have sworn that you were also going to ask him out too. It sounds to me like it's finally happening.” 

Gerard rubbed his hands over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Did everyone really think so? “But what if we don’t want the same things?” He worried quietly. 

“Yeah, I think you need to talk to Frank and find out. Listen, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it and say it’ll be easy, but I think you will be fine,” Ray reassured. 

“Thanks, man,” Gerard said quietly. “I don’t wanna fuck up the group dynamics or whatever. I don’t want us to be a problem for the band either.” 

“It’d only be a problem for the band if you two continue to ignore it. You’re playing with live ammo, don’t let it blow up in your faces. But it could be fireworks, dude. You guys have something real.” Ray had always been Gerard’s bullshit barometer. He knew that if he can get Ray to buy into whatever he’s selling, then he’s onto something worth pursuing. If Ray’s encouraging him to really be in a relationship with Frank, then that’s what Gerard knows he needs to do. 

“Thanks Ray,” Gerard then turned the subject back on Ray and asked about his family’s holiday. They continued chatting for a few more minutes before hanging up with promises from Gerard to call for any updates about him and Frank. 

A freshly showered Frank sat next to Mikey at the breakfast table and looked down at his coffee mug. While in the bathroom he thought about all the things that happened the previous day and this morning and he needed advice about what to do next. If anyone had a clue to the enigma that was Gerard’s brain, it was Mikey. He hoped Gerard would take a long enough time getting showered and dressed for him to figure things out. 

“I need your help,” Frank opened. 

Mikey looked up from his phone, slid the keyboard shut and placed it down on the table. Sometimes Mikey surprised Frank with how much he looked like his older brother when he concentrated on something. “What’s up?” Mikey asked. 

“I don’t know what’s happening with me and Gee. I just know we’re not pretending anymore,” Frank propped his head on his hand, elbow resting on the table. 

“You never were pretending, that’s the part both of you got wrong,” Mikey said. Frank’s eyebrows furrowed and Mikey sighed and explained further, “you’ve both been in love with each other since the beginning. Soulmarks aside, I think this has been inevitable for years.” 

“I never thought…” he trailed off. Frank cleared his throat and started again, looking down at the table, “last night he said ‘I love you’ - and I think he heard me say it back.” 

Mikey smiled, like he was in on a secret. “Now, that doesn’t sound so complicated to me.” 

“But we still haven’t really talked about… what this all means,” Frank gestured broadly. “How do I know where to start?” 

“Go with what you know. How did it feel to wake up in the same place?” At Frank’s blush Mikey rolled his eyes, “ugh, don’t answer that. But like, were you happy?” Frank nodded. 

“Then start there,” Mikey patted Frank’s shoulder. 

“Is this the part where you tell me if I break his heart you'll kick my ass?” He tried to joke. 

“No,” Mikey surprised him with his response. “This is the part where I say I'll kick _either_ of your asses if one of you fucks it up, Little Bro Code says I murder whoever hurts my one of my brothers.” Frank could hear the capital letters in Mikey’s speech. He was both grateful and a little stunned that Mikey’s wording implied that he considered Frank a brother - Mikey was always careful with the words he chose. 

“Thanks, man.” Frank gave Mikey a grateful smile. The two of them dug into the coffee and baked goods on the table, waiting for the rest of the family to emerge. At least the Ways appreciate the value of sleeping in, Frank mused. 

By mid-morning the family gathered around in the living room to exchange gifts. Gerard sat on the floor, leaning against the arm of the loveseat with his legs stretched out in front of him. Frank walked in carrying their refilled coffee mugs and planted himself in the space between Gerard’s legs, his back resting up against Gerard’s chest. Mugs set to the side, Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank and kissed his cheek. Frank lost himself in the feeling of being surrounded in Gerard’s hold. He felt a lot better after his conversation with Mikey and hoped that they’d be able to find time to talk about everything before the day was through. 

Donna declared herself ‘Santa’s helper’ by putting a Santa hat over her bushy hair, she turned on her Carpenters Christmas record and let it play softly in the background before finally distributing the little piles of gifts to everyone. Everyone took turns opening their little piles, starting with Mikey, who ripped open his way through a couple new video games and stacks of comics. Frank enjoyed watching everyone open their gifts, he smiled at how Donna gushed over the vintage tea set that Gerard discovered during their shopping day in LA and he laughed at Don putting on his new silk tie on, over his sweater and how he lit up like a child when opening a complicated looking puzzle box. 

Eventually, Gerard poked Frank’s shoulder, “your turn, Frankie,” and prompted him to go ahead. He was surprised and pleased at the gifts he opened, which included a sweater and knit gloves from Gerard's parents, and a Frankenstein guitar strap from Mikey. Gerard’s was the last in his pile, Frank picked up the tartan patterned box, curious with what would be inside. Frank moved over slightly, so they could see each other better as they opened each other’s gifts.

Gerard gave him a shy look but said, “open it.” 

Frank tore off the lid and plucked the old school film camera out of the box. He’d been itching to get into photography more but couldn’t remember talking about it to anyone before. It was like Gerard just _knew._ “Thank you,” he murmured in Gerard’s ear. “I love it.” 

Gerard was last in the present exchange rotation, he opened up a new marker set from his parents and some Star Wars collectibles from Mikey. Frank pressed a little box in Gerard’s hand, “for you,” he said. Gerard gave him a rare, toothy smile and pulled off the bow and opened the box. 

“Oh,” Gerard said in wonder. “It’s perfect.” He lifted the Swatch watch out of the box and studied it closely. 

“Flip it over,” Frank instructed. He watched Gerard silently mouth the words to himself as he read the inscription etched to the back - _‘I am loved, so I love’_ \- Frank was originally terrified to have his own shoddy poetry as the inscription, but the thought came to him immediately while he was looking at it, and knew he had to go with his gut. Sitting here now, watching the expression on Gerard’s face, he knew he made the right call. 

Gerard kissed his cheek lightly and thanked him, “I love it, thank you.” He put the watch in Frank’s hand and held his wrist out. Frank smiled, he pushed up the sleeve to Gerard’s hoodie and fastened it on. 

By Frank’s count that was the last gift, he was ready for the chance to start using his camera at some point during the day. Maybe the lights of the tree would be interesting to play with, he loved how they reflected off Gerard’s skin, giving him a soft glow. It was so different from the stage light, but it had a similar impact of making Gerard look ethereal. 

“Gerard, don’t you have one more gift to give out?” Donna prompted, interrupting Frank’s thoughts. 

“No?” Gerard sounded confused. 

Donna tilted her head and rolled her eyes, “I’m pretty sure you have one more thing for Frank.” 

Whatever was happening, Frank was also a little confused. But after Donna winked at her son, he heard Gerard sigh, “yeah, all right. But I need to go get it.” And Gerard’s arms left Frank’s waist as he untangled himself from their cuddling position on the floor. Frank’s eyes followed him as he darted out the room toward the door to the basement. 

Donna smiled and got up and walked to the turntable to flip the record over to the other side, letting Karen Carpenter serenade the room once again while they waited for Gerard to return. Frank looked at Mikey who shrugged at him in similar confusion. He busied himself by getting up off the floor and repositioning to actually sit on the couch, where they had been leaning up against previously. 

Gerard returned as quickly as he left, kneeling in front of Frank. He looked slightly panicked, Frank leaned forward and reached his left hand down to Gerard’s forearm, he felt Gerard’s tension ease slightly at the touch. Their eyes met and he heard Gerard’s deep breath and exhale. 

“Gee?” Frank softly prompted. 

It must have been what Gerard needed, their hands connected and Gerard began to speak, “I remember… Once, when I was like maybe nine or ten, I asked grandma _‘how do I know if someone really loves me?’_ And she answered me by asking me _‘what makes you happy?’_ And, um, I didn’t understand what that had to do with my question but, uh, I went with it. I said playing with Mikey, or reading comics, or singing to the piano with her made me happy.”

Gerard let go of Frank’s hand to pull something from his front hoodie pocket. A small box. Frank gasped as Gerard opened it, revealing a ring inside. He looked at Gerard and saw the intense face that Gerard always wore when he talked about the things he firmly believed in. God, Frank was not expecting this _at all._ Was this... was this real? 

Frank took in a shaky breath and gave Gerard a little head tilt, prompting him to finish, “And until now I didn't understand why she asked me that. But you, um - you make me happy Frank, so fucking happy. And I want to make you happy too, because I love you. Will you marry me?” 

His heart pounded for all it was worth, threatening to leap out of his chest. Last night he thought they had reached an understanding that they were not pretending, that this was all very real. And now _this_ was actually happening. It was too much, it was everything, it was right. 

Before he knew what he was doing, Frank felt his head nodding. The answer caught in the back of his throat came out in a whisper only Gerard could hear, “ _yes._ ” He was swooped into a kiss, Gerard rose from his knees to bridge their distance. Now sitting side by side on the couch, they were both a little misty eyed as Gerard plucked the ring out of the box and took Frank’s hand, the ring slid over Frank’s tattooed finger perfectly. 

Everyone around them was cheering and he was vaguely aware of Mikey throwing both hands up in a fist pump, but the focus of his attention remained on Gerard, who swept Frank up into his arms and kissed him deeply. 

They broke apart to see Mikey grinning at them, “Congrats, bro” he smiled, wide and dorky. Mikey hugged each of them in turn, Frank could read the ‘I told you so’ written on Mikey’s face as he smiled. Frank was passed between each of the Ways, all hugging (and Donna was a little teary) as they offered up their joy and congratulations. 

Eventually the celebration eased up as everyone drifted toward the kitchen and Frank was finally able to catch Gerard’s eye. It suddenly occurred to Frank that they had to talk. Before anything else, he needed some time alone to see what Gerard was really thinking and to sort out if he was dreaming or if this was actually happening. 

He didn’t realize he was trembling until Gerard grabbed his hands and guided Frank to sit down, “I just- I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“I’m sorry,” Gerard looked a little regretful as he sat next to Frank. “Mom gave me the ring yesterday and even with her pushing me, it wasn’t right to spring it on you. But I’m glad it happened.” 

“Gee -” Frank started. “Are you saying...?” He allowed himself to feel hopeful. They were moving so fast, but isn’t that just how they did everything? They zip through their daily life on the road at two hundred beats per minute so why wouldn’t their relationship follow the same tempo? 

“I love you,” Gerard’s voice was firm and reassuring. “I want this.” Frank knew they needed to finish this conversation, he _knew_ it was time. But Gerard’s words made his heart soar and he just couldn’t help himself from grabbing Gerard by the front of his hoodie for a kiss. 

“I love you too,” Frank returned. Gerard responded with more kisses, his hands pulled at Frank’s arms until they were horizontal on the couch, flush head to toe as they continued kissing. 

Overwhelmed by the surprise proposal and the progression of their relationship, Frank rested his head on Gerard’s chest to listen to his heartbeat. The steady thumps he could faintly make out under his ear steadied and centered him. Gerard seemed to understand what he needed, wrapping his arms around Frank. Frank felt a kiss on the top of his head, and burrowed into Gerard’s chest as they cuddled together on the couch. 

Frank slowly woke up into awareness, he kept his eyes shut and basked in the feeling of being in Gerard’s arms. He heard voices talking and tuned in to the conversation, with the hope to drift off again back to sleep soon. 

“Oh I’ll need to call the lawyers and let them know you’re getting married before the deadline. Although it might have to wait until next week after the new year, their office may be closed,” Donna’s voice went a mile a minute as she talked. Frank wondered what she was talking about. Lawyers? Deadline? 

“No, Mom -” Gerard’s voice rumbled under Frank’s head.

Donna kept going, not once losing her train of thought, “Oh we don’t have long to plan. You want to do it here in Jersey, right? You’ll be on the road through your birthday, we don’t have much time to get things planned in that kind of time crunch. Perhaps a big party could wait until you have a break. But you’ll still need suits for the ceremony. What about that designer who made your band uniforms?” 

“Colleen? Mom, I don’t think -” Gerard began until his mom cut him off again. 

“And we’ll need to get Frank’s name added on the house deed when the lawyers sign the inheritance papers over. Do you think you’ll hyphenate your names? Iero-Way sounds just _darling._ ” Now Frank was really fucking confused. Papers? Inheritance? He understood Donna being excited to plan a wedding for them, but what was the rest about? 

He pretended to be asleep for just a little longer, until he heard footsteps that he hoped was Donna leaving the room. 

“What the fuck?” he scrambled out of Gerard’s arms. “What the fuck was your mom talking about, with lawyers and deadlines?” 

“Frankie, I can explain,” Gerard put his hands out in a placating manner, as if to not spook Frank. Well, too late for that. 

Frank shot a glare at Gerard, “spill.” 

Gerard ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends. Frank could see the gears whirling in his head as he tried to figure out where to begin. “What aren’t you telling me?” Frank asked again. 

“I um, Mom, ugh. I’m not,” Gerard rambled. “Shit.” 

“ _Gerard,_ ” Frank snapped, growing impatient. 

Gerard sighed and restarted, “I guess um, it starts with Grandma. When she died she left me her house in her will. But there’s stipulations I have to meet before I can inherit it.” 

“And how does that involve me?” Frank asked. 

Gerard’s hand tugged the back of his own neck in a nervous gesture, “In order for me to get the house, I have to be married before my thirtieth birthday. Um, which explains Mom being pushy about me being in a relationship.” 

“And why you asked me to come here,” Frank concluded. “Were you… are you just using me?” 

Gerard’s eyes grew wide in panic, “No! No, Frankie. Never.” He reached for Frank’s hands but Frank pulled just out of Gerard’s reach. “I meant it when I proposed. I want to be with you.” 

“But why didn’t you tell me about this?” Frank pressed. 

Gerard stuttered, “I, um, I just didn’t know how to. Things happened so fast, we haven’t talked about everything and I just - didn’t. I never meant to lie to you.” 

“You did though. Fuck, you could have told me in Chicago or LA - before everything started changing! I can’t… I can’t be with you if you’re going to keep stuff from me.” 

“I’m sorry, Frank. I didn’t mean to lie.” 

“How do I know that for sure? Even before all this, I thought we were best friends. Why couldn’t you mention that you had this whole inheritance deadline thing hanging over you _before_ all the Christmas stuff came up?” 

When Gerard didn’t have a response for that, Frank left the living room, leaving a silent Gerard alone on the couch. He rushed downstairs to the basement to retrieve his shoes and coat. There was no way he could stay in this house right now, he needed to step back and think. Frank knew he was a pushover when it came to Gerard but right now he could not afford to let his own affections get in the way of thinking logically about this whole mess. He tucked his phone in his pocket and went back upstairs to head out, he saw Gerard lingering in the hallway as he reached the door. 

“I’m gonna head to my dad's early. I can’t look at you right now,” Frank said, “Give me some time, okay?” Frank picked up the gift bags by the door and snatched the keys to Gerard’s old car from the wall hook. 

“Frank, I -” Gerard started. 

“Not now, please. I need to think.” Frank looked down at the ring on his left hand. For a split second he considered taking it off, but immediately shut that thought down. While he was upset and hurt, he just couldn’t bring himself to give it back. Gerard’s sigh of relief was audible behind him when he simply tucked his hand into his pocket instead. He didn’t look back as he opened the door and walked out into the cold. 

Frank gripped the steering as he merged on the highway heading toward his father’s house. He tried going over every detail since Gerard asked him to be his fake boyfriend. Did he miss something? 

_‘Like we get it, it doesn’t confuse us’_ Frank recalled saying to Gerard just days ago, when they developed their plan for all this. Well. So much for that. He’s confused as hell. Their friendship evolved into - whatever this was. ‘I love you’s’ had been exchanged, that was a fact. But what did that mean? 

Frank knew in his bones that he loved Gerard, but he wasn’t sure about how quickly things were changing. Just before he fell asleep on the couch he was ready to accept the speed at which things were progressing, but now that seemed like the wrong call. Yesterday he had a best friend and today he has a fiancé? They hadn’t even thought about what this would do to the band in all of this. Had they just been caught up in the moment?

Then there was the will and the house. He knew intellectually why Gerard had his reasons for not telling him. Anxiety and worry controlled Gerard’s mind and decision making far too often, and this was definitely one of those times, Frank understood. But that couldn’t stop him from thinking - what if there was something else that Gerard kept from him? If they were going to be together, get _married_ , Frank needed Gerard to trust him and let him in. 

He thought of his late night conversation in the kitchen with Don the other night, when he asked Frank to be patient - Frank guessed this was one of those times. But he wanted to know where’s the line between being patient and being shut out? 

Frank sighed, and then thought about how easily they fit together. If anything, they already had amazing natural chemistry that became amplified as they shifted into acting like a couple. Not to mention the incredible sex they had, each of those times it was never just physical - Frank knew they both felt what they shared deep within each other’s souls. 

He had also told Gerard the other day in the basement to _‘stop thinking and go with it.’_ Maybe that’s what Frank needed to do. He definitely needed time to breathe first, but after that, maybe then he should listen to his own advice. 

*MEANWHILE*

“Mom, I messed up,” Gerard admitted. He sat on the couch next to her and leaned down to rest his head in her lap, something he hadn’t done since he was a child. 

“What happened, honey?” She carded her hand through his hair, soothing. 

“Well, I guess you know this part now, but when I asked Frank to come here, I was asking him to lie.” Even though his mom had seemed to be understanding when she revealed she knew about his scheme, Gerard still felt bad for trying to fool her, “and then I actually started having feelings, and I guess he did too... But I, uh, we never really talk about what was happening. We both made assumptions. And I didn’t tell him anything about the whole inheritance thing with the house.” 

Donna tisked, “I just want to see you happy, Gerard. You asked your best friend to come here, and not only did you try to lie to me but you kept the whole truth from him? Gerard. I raised you better than that,” she chided. “I just want to see you happy. But you never have to pretend for me, or anyone else okay? I’m your mother, I want to help you.” 

Gerard sat up and hugged her, “I know mom, I know.” 

“I know I also have to remember that you’re an adult now who can take care of themself without my help,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to lean on your best friend.” 

“I think I just messed it all up though,” he whispered sadly. 

She shook her head, “No, not completely. You two need to talk. You got in this mess by keeping things to yourself.”

“Okay, mom,” Gerard promised. 

She patted his arms and kissed his cheek, “You can start by getting cleaned up for dinner and thinking about what you’re going to say to him. You should head over soon.” 

An hour later, Gerard pulled himself together enough to get dressed in a black button down and waistcoat with a blazer. If he was going to try to win back Frank’s affections, he needed to look his best. He fumbled with his silver necktie, which Frank would typically tie for him, just one of their unspoken preshow habits. 

When Gerard made it upstairs, he saw Mike standing in the foyer, already wrapped in his winter coat, their dad’s keys in hand. 

“C’mon, let’s go,” Mikey urged. “If I drop you off there, you’ll have to drive back together.” 

“I should murder you in your sleep for trying to set us up,” Gerard started, “but I know you were just looking out for me, for both of us.” 

Mikey’s fist lightly punched Gerard’s shoulder, “you’re welcome.” 

“Thanks Mikes,” Gerard said earnestly. They climbed into their dad’s beat up Honda and blasted on the heater. Gerard stared out the window, watching their little neighborhood pass by in a blur of white as Mikey drove. “I’m not sure what all good that’s done now though. It’s all fucked up.” 

“You two need to talk. It sounds cliché or whatever but it really will fix most of this misunderstanding,” Mikey said. 

“Since when did you become the older brother?” 

Mikey smirked, “I’ve always been smarter than you, idiot.” 

“I just, I don't know where to start?” Gerard rubbed his face in concentration. He felt himself shrinking into his coat, as if to hide. 

Mikey drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, “this morning... Were you pretending when you proposed?” 

Gerard shook his head. “No,” he admitted, mostly to himself. 

"Do you want to be nothing more than Frank’s friend for the rest of your life, or do you want to give both yourself and Frank a chance at being happy?"

"But," Gerard began to protest, "I can't _make_ him be happy with me if he doesn't feel the same. I can't just decide for the both of us and expect him to go along with it."

"That’s right." Mikey nodded and agreed. “ _But_ just like there are opportunities that only happen once in a lifetime - I believe, it's the same deal with people. Frank believes that too. Don’t fuck this up.” 

He let Mikey’s advice sink in. Gerard ripped his heart out with his bare hands three times - the latest being the most near fatal - for the sake of art. But now that he'd torn it out and given it to Frank, instead of feeling hollowed out and bloody like he was accustomed to, he felt a peacefulness and sense of purpose wash over him. He was now certain about his love for Frank, and that he wanted to be together as bonded soulmates. Gerard would let that guide his next move - it was time to stop putting up his walls and let Frank in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how about that proposal? And what do you think will happen in the final chapter? 
> 
> Their gifts:  
> [Gerard’s Swatch](https://thekavalier.com/blog/2018/12/31/young-animal-gerard-ways-style-in-a-post-my-chemical-romance-world-the-sound-of-style)
> 
> [Frank’s Pentax K1000](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentax_K1000)
> 
> Thank you to my beta [SmileAndASong ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong)
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas day, continued. Frank and Gerard finally talk about their ~feelings~

Frank felt a little better after the drive out to his dad’s house. His head was still spinning, but the initial hurt he felt from Gerard had dampened slightly. The sight of his dad’s house was a welcomed sight for sore eyes and when Frank’s father opened the door, Frank allowed himself to be pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

“Merry Christmas, son,” Frank Sr. greeted. 

“Merry Christmas, dad.” 

“Where’s Gerard? I thought he was coming along?” Frank Sr. asked as they walked into the house. 

“He sent me ahead so I could spend some more time with everyone,” Frank shrugged off. He wrangled in his emotions, refusing to let what he felt at the moment show. “He’ll be here in time for dinner.” 

“Put your stuff down, the kids are watching tv but almost everyone else is in the kitchen. Your grandpa and uncle got the bright idea to turn on the grill. I told ‘em if they freeze to death they’re staying out there on the porch until it thaws.” Frank Sr. said. 

Frank laughed, “I’m surprised it wasn’t your idea,” he teased while hanging up his coat by the door. 

“You may be a big shot now but that doesn’t mean you can pull your old man’s leg,” his father winked. “C’mere, everyone’s excited to see you.” 

Frank made the rounds, first by depositing his bundle of gifts by the tree. He then narrowly avoided getting tackled down by his younger cousins in the living room. They traded hugs and high-fives, he teased them for being awkward teenagers and they poked fun at him for being _like a real grown-up_ now. Then he made his way to the back of the house to seek out the rest of the family. 

It seemed like every Iero was crowded into the kitchen, in an assembly line cranking out mountains of homemade pasta and gnocchi di patate. He greeted everyone in turn, hugging aunts and cousins and finally his grandmother. He held her tighter than usual, after spending the last few days living in the shadow that Gerard’s grandma had left behind, Frank never wanted to let go of his nonna. 

“You’re so small, my Frankie. Too small. Do they not feed you on tour?” She fussed after him. “I have veggie lasagna for you on the side.”

Frank smiled, “thanks nonna, I can’t wait.” He peeled his gloves off and washed up, ready to help with whatever preparations were left. 

Just a few minutes later, Frank was kneading pasta dough when his aunt reached over and grabbed Frank’s wrist. “Oh! What is this?” she gasped, indicating the ring on his finger. 

Everyone else stopped and turned to look, causing Frank to blush, his chin ducked down toward his chest, “oh, um. Gerard proposed this morning.” 

“And you didn’t say anything! This is amazing news, congrats!” She planted her hands on the sides of his face and kissed each cheek. He was then swept up in another round of hugs from everyone, and he faintly heard someone yell out to the back porch for his grandpa to come see. In an instant, almost his entire family surrounded him, all giving their congratulations while admiring the ring. 

“How did he ask you?” his cousin Stephanie asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. 

Frank’s cheeks grew even redder as he thought about how perfect the morning was. “He asked this morning, when we exchanged gifts with his family. It was - it was really sweet.” He felt the knots in his stomach loosen slightly, he’d spent the afternoon so focused on what went wrong after, that he hadn’t really been able to reflect on how wonderful the proposal itself was. 

“Were you surprised?” 

Frank laughed, _oh was he surprised._ “Very.” He let everyone badger him for a few more minutes with questions until he finally waved them all off, “okay, okay. You’ve had your fun. I think something’s burnin’ on the stove.”

Not long after that, Gerard arrived. Frank’s father answered the door, and Frank pretended that he wasn’t trying to overhear their conversation in the doorway. 

“I hear that congratulations is in order,” Frank Sr. hugged Gerard and pulled him into the house. 

“Oh, yeah,” Gerard sounded a little surprised. “It’s been a big day.” 

“Come on in, I think dinner’s almost ready. You can come party with the rest of us old guys outside.” 

Frank turned his head toward the sound of his dad’s voice and saw his family come over and greet Gerard as he walked into the house. He held court, stopping to talk to everyone and accepting their well wishes. Frank could tell Gerard had his interview face on, the smiles he gave didn’t quite reach his eyes like normal. Frank wasn’t sure if he felt sad or satisfied at Gerard’s discomfort. 

He leaned against the kitchen countertop, waiting for the tea kettle to boil. Gerard walked in his direction following his dad toward the porch. When he stopped in front of Frank, he looked a little unsure, his gaze fell down to his shoes. 

“Hi,” he whispered. 

Frank took pity on him and wrapped his hand on Gerard’s forearm, “I’m glad you’re here.” His hand slid down, running over the watch on Gerard's wrist. His heart skipped, knowing that Gerard wore something from him - carrying it around so he would always be with Gerard. 

Just when Gerard looked like he was going to say something, the kettle whistled, breaking the moment. In the time that Frank’s head turned toward the direction of the offending sound, Gerard walked away. Frank sighed and fixed his tea mug up. 

He walked with his tea over to the window overlooking the backyard to get an eye on Gerard. There was a breeze coming from the back door, Frank noticed it was left cracked slightly open. Feeling sneaky, he opened it up just a little more, until he could hear his dad and grandpa talking to Gerard as the three of them huddled around the crackling fire from the grill. 

“I want to spend the rest of my life proving to him how much I love him,” Gerard said firmly, like a vow. “I’ve always been scared that I’m not worthy enough of his mark, but I want to be.” 

“My boy, if you keep that up, you are worthy,” Frank couldn’t see their faces from where he stood by the door, but he could hear the smile in his grandfather’s voice when he spoke to Gerard, “I don’t doubt that you’ll be a good partner to Frank.”

“I’m sorry, though, that I didn’t ask for the family’s blessing before - I know family’s important to Frankie. Everything kind of happened so fast…” Gerard sounded just this side of guilty. 

“I think we can let that slide this time,” his grandfather laughed. “As long as it's a big italian wedding.” 

Gerard’s shoulders visibly relaxed, “Ha, yeah - I’ll see what we can do about that.” Their conversation continued, but Frank heard all that he needed. He turned toward the living room where everyone else was gathered, the promise Gerard made to his grandfather resonated in his chest. 

Gerard was still a little on edge by the time everyone sat down for dinner, he hadn’t been able to catch a moment alone with Frank in his house full of people, but thankfully the approval he’d received so far from both his dad and grandfather had given him a boost of confidence. Frank sat next to him and they muddled through the start of the meal, still not speaking to each other directly. At least their bodies were still in sync, passing over what the other wanted without being asked, elbows and hands occasionally brushing. It awed Gerard every time the gold band on Frank’s hand would catch the light _just_ so and reflect brilliantly. 

Naturally, a lot of the dinner conversation buzzed around Gerard, but he managed to get through. Even though he’d met most of Frank’s extended family a handful of times over the years, it was definitely different being around as a _significant other_ instead of just as a bandmate and friend. He answered all their questions about the band and his own family, using as much deflection as he could spin. 

“Wait - when did you two finally get together?” One of Frank’s cousins - _Stephanie,_ he thought - finally asked the question Gerard figured they were all wondering about. “He hadn’t mentioned anything before and then just showed up wearing an engagement ring! And you two are really good at doing this whole - _looking at each other while the other’s looking away_ \- thing.” 

Gerard looked away from Frank and blushed, literally caught staring at his fiancé. Fiancé, his mind echoed. Well, if he fixed things with Frank after dinner then, yes, his fucking _fiancé._ So Gerard figured he’s allowed to be caught staring at Frank.

“I think it just happened naturally. Frankie’s been my best friend since we met - our marks are important but they never completely defined us, you know? And then one day we looked at each other and we realized how we felt,” Gerard said. 

Telling this story over several dinners in the last few days has lost its initial frightfulness, instead it was comparable to answering any other recurrent interview questions they get from every reporter they meet. But the thrill in his stomach that he experienced every time Frank looked at him while he spun this story never faded away. Gerard sensed Frank’s gaze burning onto his skin, so he reached a hand under the table and squeezed Frank’s thigh. He was pleasantly surprised to feel Frank’s hand return the gesture. 

Stephanie smiled and looked a little weepy from Gerard’s answer. “What about the band?” She asked. 

“With the band, it’s always been us against the world. They’ve got our backs and everything Frank and I do together is in the name of making art and creating something important,” Gerard said. Frank surprised Gerard again by giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek that was so quick he barely felt it. Maybe he hadn’t completely ruined everything earlier after all. 

Gerard then asked her “What’s your craziest mark story?” It’s a safe question, Gerard’s learned it's a perfect way to let people talk about themselves without much offense and the stories he’s told are always fascinating. 

She launched into a story about the mark of a lipstick tube on her ankle and meeting her best friend in kindergarten, who convinced her to eat her mother’s lipstick like a popsicle during recess. By the time she finished her story, everyone at the table was in a jovial mood and dinner began to wind down as people dispersed to leave their plates in the kitchen and fill up their wine glasses. 

“Let the happy couple do the dishes!” Frank’s grandma told everyone, her word was as good as the law in this house. 

Frank rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “sure nonna,” and started to pick up plates. Gerard followed suit and they worked together to scrape off plates and fill the dishwasher. 

Finally alone for the first time in hours, Gerard didn’t want it to be awkward anymore, “I’m sorry, Frank.”

Frank sighed, stopped what he was doing and looked up at Gerard, “I know. I just needed to process things. I’m not angry anymore, but I’m hurt.” 

Gerard was glad to know Frank wasn’t upset, but he hated being the cause for the sad look on his face. “Can we talk later tonight?” Gerard needed to make things right as soon as possible. “I owe you an explanation, you deserve to know everything.” 

“It better be everything. I can’t -” he stopped and restarted, “I need you to be completely honest with me,” he said. “Let’s get through the rest of the night here, please?” 

“As you wish,” Gerard promised. 

“Did you just Princess Bride me?” A small smirk broke out on Frank’s face.

Gerard shrugged, looking sheepish, “did it work?” 

“ _Nerd_ ,” Frank said, fondly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. They remained quiet the rest of the time they spent cleaning up, and finally when it was time to rejoin everyone else, Gerard held his hand out for Frank to either take or brush off, and Frank laced their fingers together and led them to the living room. 

Gerard remembered Frank mentioning that every year after dinner, the musically inclined family members would have a mini jam session in the living room while everyone else sat around the tree. When they entered the living room, he saw Frank’s dad holding a guitar case with an absurdly large bow on it. 

“Merry Christmas, son,” Frank Sr. held out the case in Frank’s direction. Gerard let go of Frank’s hand and let him grab the case. 

Frank’s face lit up as he placed it on the floor to open it, revealing an Esteban acoustic electric inside. “Thanks, dad!” 

“I know you need one for your next tour, so I hope this helps,” Frank’s dad continued. Frank stood up to hug him, Gerard felt a little emotional watching the exchange. He knew how much Frank hero-worshiped his dad and it was sweet to see their bond through music. 

“Frankie, you two play something for us!” Frank’s grandmother requested. She was echoed with a chorus of “yeah’s!” from everyone else. 

Gerard caught Frank’s questioning eye and nodded. Frank found a cord to plug into the amp in the corner and grabbed a stool out from behind his dad’s drum kit, he placed it next to where Gerard was standing. He sat down and began strumming and tuning. 

“What should we -?” Gerard asked quietly, so everyone couldn’t overhear. Gerard rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows just to give his hands something to do while Frank got situated with his new guitar. 

“Hmm,” Frank turned the tuning pegs and plucked, “You know 'Christmas Waltz'? It’s Nonna’s favorite.” 

Gerard smiled and nodded, “yeah, yeah. Whenever you’re ready.” 

Frank fumbled around with the tuning for another moment. Gerard watched, fascinated at seeing a guitar in Frank’s hands while the ring sat comfortably on his finger. It looked right. 

“Okay,” Frank prompted when he was good to go. 

Gerard felt them shift into a familiar dynamic, but it held an extra something to it, by the time he opened his mouth to sing, Gerard realized this would be the first time they’d play together after confessing that they love each other. 

“Frosted window panes, candles gleaming inside…” If there was a little crack to the first note Gerard sang, no one made a visible reaction to it. He kept going, watching Frank beside him strum along. 

“It's that time of year, when the world falls in love, every song you hear seems to say,” It had to be synchronicity, that caused him to be singing these lyrics that were just entirely too fitting, Gerard thought. They kept going, and by the time the song ended Gerard had his hand resting on Frank’s right shoulder, clutching at the fabric. Gerard blushed shyly at the round of cheers they received when they finished. 

Frank got up to put the guitar back in the case, and Gerard took his spot on the stool. When he returned, Frank opted to sit sideways in Gerard’s lap with an arm over Gerard’s shoulder while Gerard’s arms also wrapped around Frank’s waist. Frank turned his head to leave a kiss on Gerard’s cheek and then they settled in for the rest of their evening with the family. 

By the time Frank and Gerard were on the road heading back to the Ways house, the remaining awkwardness that lingered through the evening faded considerably. Gerard turned the car toward Belleville Park, which looked like a wintry wonderland with the giant bare cherry blossom trees covered in snow and the stream frozen over. He parked on a hill that offered a wide view of the park, the city lights from New York looked like faint stars in the distance. 

Gerard unbuckled the seatbelt and turned as much as he could in his seat to face Frank. “Um, dinner went well, I thought?” he opened. 

Gerard’s hands couldn’t stop fidgeting against the wheel. Frank reached over and pulled Gerard’s right hand into his own, resting their clasped hands over the center console. “Yeah. I um, I heard you and grandpa talking on the porch.” 

“Oh? I, uh, I meant every word,” Gerard rubbed his thumb across the back of Frank’s hand. 

“I wanna believe it… but you lied to me earlier,” Frank’s voice carried an edge to it that Gerard hated feeling pointed in his direction. 

“I - It wasn’t an outright _lie_ … I just omitted… some,” Gerard knew how awful it sounded. “ _Fuck_ , I’m sorry.”

“Lying by omission is still lying. If this between us is gonna work you have to let me in. I’ll accept your apology if you promise not to do that again. You have to talk to me, okay? And I’ll promise to do the same.” Just because he did such a good job at hiding it, didn't mean that Frank wasn't fucked up too. Gerard knew all about Frank's anxiety and years of repressed feelings and lingering Catholic guilt that he buried under sarcasm and deflection. 

“I’ll be better. I know I need to let you know what’s going on in my head. I want you to know. We have to lean on each other,” Gerard promised. They were a pair of fuck ups, Gerard thought, but maybe when smushed together they made one whole functional person. 

“Is there anything else you need to tell me? If so, I need to hear it now,” Frank nudged, his voice soft. 

“I was really scared, earlier, when you left. I thought you were going to give the ring back… but you didn’t take it off, and I was relieved, I hoped -... I hoped that meant you still want to be with me. Now that we’re together I don’t think I could survive without you.” Gerard’s free hand rubbed at his eyes, he didn’t even realize some of the things he felt until he voiced them aloud. 

“Maybe if I were stronger I would have taken it off. But I’ve been gone for you for too long to walk away from you now,” Frank said. 

“But I don’t want you to feel, like, obligated. We don’t have to get married, I just want to be with you, however you’ll take me.”

“What about the will and the house?” Frank asked. 

“It's _just_ a house - wherever we are in the world, you’re my _home_ , Frankie,” Gerard placed a hand on Frank’s cheek, bringing their faces closer. “When I look at you I realize what I was missing before. As long as you're by my side, I can be anywhere or do anything and know that it's exactly where I'm supposed to be,” Gerard said. As he finished, Frank leaned in and kissed him. As their first real kiss in hours, it was emotionally charged and full of honesty. 

“But it was your grandma’s house. And it will be _ours_.” Gerard kissed Frank again, unable to help himself after hearing Frank say that. Could this really all be happening? Gerard didn’t know what deity he owed his good fortune to, but he was beyond grateful. 

“We don’t have to, but if you’re sure…” Gerard whispered against Frank’s cheek. 

“I am. I think we’re going to get married eventually either way. So we might as well…” Frank said, his eyes glanced down toward Gerard’s mouth. Gerard took the hint and their lips connected again. 

When they naturally pulled away Frank continued, “I don’t think that you being my soulmate automatically means you’re perfect and our life together is going to be all - happily ever after or whatever. It’s more like - something that makes everything else better, you know? A bonus to make up for all the shitty parts.” 

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. I think we were always going down this road, I couldn’t have done the last few years without you. And I - the only future I want is one with you in it.” Gerard agreed. “So, we’re really doing this?” 

“Yeah, we’re really doing this.” 

When they finally made it back to the basement, once again tucked away in the little bubble they’d created, Gerard was a little surprised they didn’t immediately pounce one another. Instead it was slow, they’d dropped their coats and neckties by the door and now stood together in the middle of the room, Gerard’s arms wrapped around Frank’s neck. Frank’s fingers dug under Gerard’s shirt, holding his hips. They kissed unhurried, knowing there was no need to rush when they had the rest of their lives together ahead of them. 

“I love you,” Frank whispered as he nipped and sucked along Gerard’s earlobe. 

Gerard moaned softly and murmured, “I love you too.” 

Frank moved to rest his forehead against Gerard’s. They looked at each other for a moment before Frank asked, “When did you know?”

“ _I fell in love with you before the second show_ ,” Gerard sang softly. “It was the first time I saw you play. Your passion; it was the most real and beautiful thing I'd ever seen.” Their lips met for a kiss before Gerard asked, “what about you?” 

“Everyone knew about Mikey Way’s elusive older brother that hardly anyone had actually met. Then when I saw you at that party - you looked so out of place - and then my mark turned warm. You smiled at me and I knew I'd finally found my heart.” 

Gerard unwrapped his hands from around Frank and moved down to grab the hem of his shirt. He pecked at Frank’s lips quickly before pulling up on it. His own vest and shirt soon followed and Frank’s hands cradled Gerard’s face for another kiss. 

There was a feeling that began to spread from the bottom Gerard’s stomach, up to his chest and stretched up through his limbs, down to his fingers and toes. It was the same feeling he had the day he got accepted to art school, the same as right before the first My Chem show, and the first time he stepped into a recording studio, it was the feeling of the start of something that would be life changing.

Gerard’s fingertips ghosted down Frank’s sides, down to the waist of his jeans, “I wanna - “ he whispered into Frank’s mouth. 

“Anything,” Frank sighed. 

Permission granted, Gerard kneeled down in front of Frank, his hands fumbled over the belt and zipper getting them out of the way. He pushed down and Frank barely stepped out of his pants before Gerard’s mouth licked down the v of his hips, hands gripping Frank’s thighs. 

“Oh,” Frank’s hand tangled within Gerard’s hair, his moans and little whimpers of pleasure only encouraged Gerard further. Frank was a babbling mess by the time Gerard swirled his tongue over the head of his cock. He’d love nothing more than to worship Frank this way every single day. 

Gerard started bobbing his head up and down, hand working Frank’s cock along with his mouth. He loved the warmth and weight of Frank overloading his senses. The hand on the back of Gerard’s head tugged at the short ends of his hair but Frank managed to keep from fucking into Gerard’s mouth. Gerard continued noisily sucking and licking, happy at the responses Frank’s body gave him. 

“Gee. Want you to fuck me,” Frank tugged at Gerard’s hair, pulling him off his cock. Gerard’s eye looked up, from his position he could see how utterly debauched Frank already looked. If he weren’t already impossibly hard in his pants, that look alone would be all he needed to get going. 

“Yeah?” Gerard asked. 

“Wanna feel you everywhere.” 

“Get on the bed, I’ll get the stuff,” Gerard rose up from his knees, and hurried over to his bag, looking for lube and condoms. He found what he needed and stripped off his pants as Frank climbed onto the bed, settling on his hands and knees. 

Gerard positioned himself behind Frank and rubbed a dollop of lube over his fingers. The sight of Frank’s ass presented in front of him was an incredible sight to see. “Let me know if something doesn’t feel good, okay?” 

Frank swallowed thickly, “‘Kay. Just need you.” 

Gerard tentatively placed one hand on the small of Frank’s back and brought the other toward Frank’s hole. He swirled his finger around the rim, causing Frank to buck up underneath him. 

“Come on, Gee.” 

That was all the encouragement Gerard needed, he dipped his finger in, exploratory. Frank’s soft sighs were music to Gerard’s ears. “Next time I want you to do this to me,” Gerard chuckled. 

Frank groaned deeply at the suggestion. “Fuck yes. Deal. Just keep going,” he agreed. 

Luckily, Gerard’s distraction tactic worked. By now he had two fingers working in and out of Frank, he catalogued every mewling sound, learning all the ways that make Frank fall apart. When he was finally satisfied that Frank was ready, he removed his fingers and tore the condom packet open and readied himself.

He guided himself toward Frank’s opening and started impossibly slow, not wanting to hurt him. Gerard felt a sense of peace - now that he had Frank here in his bed, he’d never have to feel alone again. If he could - he’d drag this exact moment out until the last possible moment they’d need to leave for tour. 

Finally, he worked his cock all the way inside Frank to the hilt. He held there for a breath before Frank whimpered, “ _move_ ,” and Gerard started pumping in and out. Gerard kept one hand on Frank’s waist, and the other on the small of Frank’s back, just over the crossed gun tattoo. 

“Gee, Gee hold on,” Frank pleaded just as Gerard’s pace picked up. 

Gerard stopped instantly, frozen in place, “what’s wrong? Too much?” 

Frank whined, “no, not that. I can’t… I can’t see you.” 

“Oh,” Gerard’s heart sang, he’d give Frank anything he wanted. “How?” 

“Let me ride you,” Frank requested, moaning, as Gerard pulled out. They quickly rearranged themselves, Gerard propped up against the headboard as Frank straddled his lap. 

Gerard held Frank’s face in his hands, kissing him, “better?” 

Frank responded by reaching for Gerard’s cock, he lined up and slowly sunk himself down on it. His back arched beautifully, his other hand braced against Gerard’s chest to keep him steady. Frank’s head fell back, mouth open in a silent cry as he sank deeper. Soon enough they regained a rhythm, as Frank fucked himself on Gerard. 

“ _Yes_ ,” Frank’s eyes were half lidded, lost in the feeling, but Gerard could see it on his face how he fought to keep them open so he could continue to see, as requested. 

Gerard’s hands reached for each of Frank’s and as Frank continued to work himself up and down, their hands clasped, fingers intertwined. That feeling Gerard felt earlier, of something monumental shifting between them returned - it was both too much and not enough. 

They continued like that for a while, at a steady pace, until Gerard unclasped their hands to get a better grip on Frank to pull him down harder. “Yeah, right there,” Frank moaned breathlessly when Gerard’s hands held his thighs to steady him. Frank panted harshly above him, clearly getting close. 

“Not yet,” Gerard groaned, not ready for it to be over. He held Frank’s legs still, pulling out in time with his raised thrust, and shifted their position so he hovered over Frank, who fell against the mattress with a soft ‘umph’. Gerard reached for Frank’s wrists and brought them together to hold them above Frank’s head on the pillow. 

“Fuck,” Gerard whined and nipped at Frank’s lips before trailing kisses down that perfect jawline. “Stay,” Gerard said into Frank’s ear as he tapped on Frank’s wrists, before Gerard let go of them. 

“Gee,” Frank whined, thrusting his hips up violently, “fuck me.” 

Gerard moved his mouth down to lick at Frank’s nipple, and Frank let out a low and needy noise. “I want this to last,” he said between licks. “Do you know how perfect you are?” 

Frank’s throat let out a wrangled moan, “please, need you... closer.” He kept his hands in place but they clenched open and close repeatedly, grasping the air for more of Gerard. 

“Shh, baby. ’m right here,” Gerard angled their hips and pushed back into Frank, filling him up in one deep thrust. “Fuck,” he moaned. Frank’s hands flew up to grab Gerard’s shoulders as he felt Gerard back inside him. 

At this angle it was easier for Gerard to reach down and kiss Frank. He braced himself on his forearms, on either side of Frank’s head and bent his head down, covering Frank’s face with kisses as he slowly thrust in and out. He whispered all his hopes and dreams for their future into Frank’s skin. 

Frank reached up and smoothed a hand over Gerard’s cheek, then pushed it up into his hair. He gazed up at Gerard with wanting, honey eyes. “love you,” he sighed, dreamily before closing his eyes and throwing his head back with another moan as Gerard brushed his prostate. 

He could tell Frank was getting close, his cock leaked between them as Gerard kept hitting his spot. He pushed up to give them a little space, and wrapped his right hand around Frank’s cock. He kissed the loud moans out from Frank’s mouth as his hand moved up and down, in time to his thrusts in and out. Their momentum built faster and faster until they were each panting and sweaty. 

“Beautiful,” Gerard praised. “Wanna see you come.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Frank’s noises grew louder. “Gee,” with a deep groan Frank came all over Gerard’s hand as he continued to work him over through his orgasm. Gerard couldn’t help the moans that escaped his throat at the feeling of Frank’s rim clenching tighter around his cock as Frank continued to come. 

He regularly commands stages in front of over ten thousand screaming bodies who think he’s some kind of savior - but it’s the sight of Frank's face looking up at him that nearly does Gerard in. It’s an intoxicating thing, to be responsible for putting that expression on Frank's face - it’s more addicting than any drink he ever had. 

“Oh fuck... Look at me, look at me Frankie,” he begged. Their eyes locked as Frank’s left hand dragged across Gerard’s chest, and Gerard would never admit this out loud, but the feeling of the ring on Frank’s finger brushing up against his soulmark was the tipping point that made Gerard’s hips thrust one last time. 

Stars burst behind his eyes as they screwed shut, he’d never come so hard in his life. He felt Frank’s arms wrap around him as he buried his face in Frank’s neck to ride out the high. They stayed that way for a while, tangled up into each other. Eventually after a long moment, Gerard pulled out - slow and reluctant, and he heard Frank’s low hiss and whines at the loss. 

“Okay?” 

Frank nodded and Gerard saw the raw vulnerability in his eyes. He brushed the hair out of Frank’s face and leaned down to kiss his forehead softly. 

“I love you,” Gerard murmured into Frank’s hair. 

Frank’s hand mirrored Gerard’s movements and cradled the back of Gerard’s head. “I love you too,” he returned. 

Gerard pushed himself up off the bed, “I’ll be right back.” He stumbled toward the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean up. When he returned, he wiped at the mess on Frank’s stomach and finally they were able to crawl under the blankets together. 

Frank smiled at him as they molded together, “best Christmas ever,” he laughed lightly. Gerard couldn’t help but agree. He couldn’t wait to spend every Christmas together for the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the final chapter, I’m a little sad to see this end. Exploring this universe and the relationship dynamics between these two lovable idiots has been so fun and rewarding. 
> 
> I’ve loved discussing each chapter with you in the comments, and I am incredibly grateful for everyone who has given me their time and attention by reading this fic. If you enjoyed this, I hope you'll pass it along to someone else like a little present. 
> 
> It’s been a wild year, but I hope that during the time that it took for you to read this story, your day was a little warmer and brighter. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta [SmileAndASong ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong)
> 
> [Click Here for this fic's Spotify playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37u7atOpSNYN2x8rgh8zfE?si=vbLSpuRNRNykemth1mtmWQ)
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at [Broken-City-Sky](https://broken-city-sky.tumblr.com/)


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